A lifetime commitment and it is gone in an instant…

…JoePa follows Woody Hayes

I had the pleasure of meeting both Coach Joe Paterno and Coach Woody Hayes in 1982. The meeting with Coach Paterno took place just prior to the Penn State vs Nebraska game and it was an incredible moment. To top it off, the result of that game firmly established Penn State as a contender for the national championship.

Talk about pressure and excitement!

Penn State's Joe Paterno and a Final Farewell

Once and for all, fans and rivals alike recognized that Penn State was for real!

“Joe Paterno, Longtime Penn State Coach, Dies at 85″

Sadly, it only takes one mistake, one lapse in judgement, for a good man to lose it all. One act, just one, can tarnish a spotless reputation. One act can erase a lifetime of giving and selfless acts.

POOF!

In JoePa’s case, his reputation was built upon excellence. Coach Paterno raised the bar and kept it there, challenging his players constantly and never allowing them to coast or lower the bar when they got tired.

Coach Paterno Believed in Football!

JoePa felt football was a vehicle, a means to an end for many of his players. Additionally, JoePa recognized that, in many ways, football is a microcosm of life. In Happy Valley, Joe Paterno helped his players understand life and set about the task of teaching and applying a myriad of life lessons, including how to win.

Lessons and Habits:

• The value of setting and achieving goals
• The value of hard work
• The value of applying lessons learned
• The value of determination and self-sacrifice
• The value of persistence
• The value of treating superiors with respect
• The VALUE of working smart and hard

Joe Paterno understood why the values listed above form a template for success. Coach Paterno led by example, recognizing that personal and private work habits are the keys to the kingdom.

Incredibly, JoePa’s work ethic was second to none…even at the age of 85. The Coach’s work ethic motivated his players and instilled in them a work ethic that would serve them well for the rest of their lives; this, was just one component of the legacy he left behind.

My guess? When it comes right down to it? I believe Joe Paterno died of a broken heart!

I also believe that all of the controversy surrounding…that other coach…was just too much for JoePa. To watch everything he’d created collapse in around him must have played like _______________ (fill in the blank). If you can visualize one of the many scenes from Inception, you know what I am talking about.

We may never be able to answer all of the questions surrounding the Penn State debacle. But for Joe Paterno, the clock has finally run out.

I hope he is at peace!

He did so much for so many, he deserved so much more. The real tragedy is this whole guilty until proven innocent thing, combined with a media feeding frenzy, of course.

Joe Paterno Walks Off for the Last Time--He Will Be Missed!

It is my hope that he found peace as the final play of the final game of life unfolded. It is also my sincere wish that, as the final whistle blew and time ran out, Joe Paterno was able to leave this world for something better with a clear conscience.

Answers to “The Question!” 

Frankly, any questions we could have asked Coach Paterno would have lead to more questions. Even if we had finally reached the truth, the answers would still sound like excuses, leaving us flat.

The media, as well as much of the general public (that word again!), had already pronounced him guilty.

But what about the questions?

• What did he know? 
• When did he know it?
• How much did he know?
• If he knew, way didn’t he act?
• If he did pass it on, who else is responsible?

Sadly, gratefully, we may never have all the answers, and Coach Paterno will never be able to make things right.

That being said, JoePa was a fighter and, even on the eve of his death, he tried to reclaim his life. You see, Coach Paterno loved Penn State, and Coach Paterno loved football, but most of all he lived for his players. The three together defined his life, one inextricably linked to the other.

His legacy?

Penn State Football!

In the final moments of his life, Coach Paterno made a sizable donation to Penn State to give back once again. Was it an attempt, a gesture, towards reconciliation? That’s what the media will suggest.

Just one more cannon ball into a sinking ship.

As stated above, we may never know; and that’s the real tragedy.

Woody Hayes: And “If only….”

Coach Hayes appeared for me as a speaker in 1982. My company sponsored a drive to save a local school system’s extra-curricular activities. It was a wonderful experience on so many levels.

As the festival took shape, it was clear right that most of the festival’s attendees came to see Woody, to hear and see The Coach.

The sports festival was my baby and I worked on it for months. All the hard work was paying off, it promised to be an amazing day. I asked several top-flight athletes and coaches from Northeast Ohio (amateur and professional coaches and athletes) to donate their time, to speak and run clinics…they did it without hesitation.

Back to Woody Hayes: On the Road Again!

Four months prior to the festival, I called Coach Hayes and explained the situation and why I needed him. Woody never hesitated, not for an instant, he said he’d be there!

Coach Hayes never asked for a fee, never asked for any kind of reimbursement, and he was on time. And there’s the kicker, in order to be on time, Woody had to leave Columbus at 5:00am.

Like Coach Paterno, Coach Hayes made a huge mistake too, a mistake he was unable to erase.

During a break in the sports festival, we talked about the 800 pound gorilla in the room;

The Punch!

Coach Hayes brought it up, I didn’t know what to say, so I let him speak. In his own words, he told me what happened. One mistake  and he was fired. He understood why, Ohio State University was overwhelmed by the press, by certain factions in the alumni association. The outcry from the general public…never my favorite phrase…and how the whole episode had taken on a life of its own.

Woody just didn’t understand how it happened!

Over the years, try as he may, Woody could never undo the damage done in that split second. Sadly, when I think back to our conversation, I can still see the pain in his eyes.

Coach Hayes’s pain is the worst kind of pain: Psychic pain!

I believe JoePa experienced the same sort of psychic pain as the Penn State debacle took on shape and a life of its own. Perhaps more?

Think Internet!

Significantly, both men fought to reclaim their reputations, regardless of the cost. And, both men died with so many questions still unanswered.

The Conversation: Coach Woody Hayes, John Zajaros, and The Punch

Coach Hayes: 

“Jack, as many times as I play that slap or punch back in my mind, I can never stop my hand from striking that boy. In an instant, everything I had worked for, all the good I’d accomplished, simply evaporated.”

Sounds like a scene from Hoosiers?

Perhaps, Blue Chips with Nick Nolte. Nolte plays a volatile basketball coach, a cross between Bobby Knight and Woody Hayes.

HINT: When Gene Hackman fesses up about why he was banned from coaching basketball. Art imitating Life and vice versa!

Yup, Hoosiers almost line for line!

Jack (me):

“I’m very sorry Coach! Is that why you do this, accept speaking engagements for charities and causes you think are worthy and worthwhile? Have you come to terms with the backlash?”

Joe Paterno and Woody Hayes: Ohio State Meets Penn State on Neutral Ground!

Woody:

“The stigma, or the backlash as you call it, is always there, spoken or unspoken. So yes, it’s part of it, certainly. But it’s a lot more that that. I have always contributed and always will. At this point in my life my time is my own. I derive a great deal of satisfaction from meeting athletes young and old. I enjoy appearing at events like this, it gives me a chance to stay active and to give something back to Ohio and Ohio State.”

Woody and I talked a bit longer and then he collected himself and left. He left the same way he came, no fanfare. In fact, I had to run to the parking lot to catch up to him so I could thank him one more time. Woody will always remain in my mind’s eye, a very nice man giving of himself and, in a very big way, giving back.

Joe Paterno and Woody Hayes are icons, whether you like them or not, they are part of the social history of our country.

Both Joe and Woody lived full lives, experiencing many incredible highs.

Both men had a profoundly positive impact on the lives of thousands of student athletes…on and off the field.

Perhaps the most wonderful thing about Joe Paterno and Woody Hayes is what they’ve done for others. JoePa and Woody gave more back to Penn State and Ohio State, respectively, than any of us will ever know…and that’s how they wanted it.

Why would I say that?

Because after all of the controversy and media attention goes away, after being stripped bare for all the world to see, both men continued to do good work for other!.

I’ve met both men and they were good men. Yes, they were fiery, and at times controversial, but they cared deeply for the institutions they represented and the players they coached, they are missed.

Coach Joe Paterno and Coach Woody Hayes

I certainly hope they’ve found peace because, for them, the game is over.

I’d love to hear what you think!

We’re also putting together a Best of the Web series that will only be available to subscribers of our newsletter…so join us!

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Please share this with your social media friends if you liked it…leave a comment if you do or didn’t.

NOTE: I won’t approve spam, porn, or crude language, okay? Anything else is fair ground.

One final cheer for two American icons who gave so much to so many for so long….

Rest in Peace

Professor John P. J. Zajaros, Sr.
The Ultimate Internet Image, LLC
Lakewood, Ohio 44107
216-712-7004

Here is a line that says it all:

Writing: A Love-Hate Relationship

It doesn’t take any special talent or genius to notice that the world we live in has changed. The world is smaller both in the sense of travel and communication. And, because the world is smaller, in the virtual realm at least, we are all more connected…or at least we have the potential to be. With a few clicks of the mouse or a keyboard we can communicate with someone halfway around the world, as if they were sitting in our living room.

Video and all!

What does require mentioning, or at least it must be noted, is that how we communicate has changed, drastically.

No, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to note that things have changed. What needs to be noted is how, and at times how badly, we communicate with each other as a result of these changes.

I have a love/hate relationship with the written word!

I love to write and hate to write.

I love to write because I feel it takes more time to shape what I am going to say and how I am going to say it. I love to write because it makes me think about each and every word I put on a page. I love to write because I have the ability to walk away from what I think I wrote, let it sit long enough for me to look at it with fresh eyes, and come back to it. And finally, I love to write because I can come back to what I think I’ve written, look at what I’ve actually written, and edit it so it communicates my original thoughts in a clear and meaningful manner.

The writing process takes coming up with an idea, thought, planning, time, and patience.

In the end, writing is a beautiful way to communicate because it forces one to think before spouting off or shooting from the hip; and, because it forces one to really think about not only the message but the vehicle of expression and, usually, the context in which the message will be delivered.

How great is that?

On the other hand, I hate writing because it requires time and patience. A paradox? I also hate writing because it is labor intensive. And, I hate writing because writing has changed, as the way we communicate the written word has changed.

Why?

You see, writing used to be something that required all of the things I mentioned when I spoke of my love for writing…and more. Writing used to be about writing stories and letters people appreciated receiving for all the very reasons I love writing.

In other words, the people reading my words knew I had taken the time to sit down and create something special, something unique, and something dedicated to the individual receiving the message.

Or at least that was the impression!

Now?

Sadly, as our world becomes more connected, and as we gain the ability to communicate with people halfway around the world with the click of a mouse or a few clicks of the keyboard, the written word has morphed into email and tweets and posts and texts.

Very often these messages, verbal expressions in written form, have little to do with meaningful communication.

Or, at the very least, they have lost the depth in terms of process and meaning.

In other words, it is no longer necessary to come up with an idea. It is no longer necessary to develop that idea into a well-thought out plan or outline. It is no longer necessary to plan how the message will be communicated and received. It is no longer a matter of taking the time to develop an idea, think about how to communicate it, and how to contextualize it so it is received properly.

And finally, and this is a reflection of the times and all things Internet, patience is no longer in the picture…at all!

In today’s world, we go from idea to blasting that idea to 500 or 5,000 or 50,000 or 500,000 or 1.5 million or 15 million or 150 million in an instant. An instant later, that thought, well-thought out or not, is picked up by Google and scrolled across monitors from here to Hanoi, the world certainly has changed!

No thought, no time, no editing, no patience, and very little meaning!

We have gone from a society that treasured the written word to a society that has transformed it into tweets and posts and emails and texts!

Argh! Texts!!

Where will it all end?

I haven’t the foggiest!

I do know one thing: I am as guilty of this as the next person…or was!

I’d send out an email and have someone react badly to an idea; only to find out that I had written one thing and communicated something altogether different. The difference between what I thought I was saying, and what was being received at the other end, was a consequence of a few badly placed words and an inadequately shaped message.

Why?

Because I forgot the formula and I didn’t take the time!

The writing process is all-the-more corrupted on and by Twitter and Facebook.

In fact, it has been forever altered by social media. We shoot from the hip or blast out meaningless comments to people we don’t know, and have no way of knowing, beyond the 140 characters and the profile picture they allow us to see.

But that’s the topic for a different sort of article.

Want a real eye-opener?

Watch Surrogates with Bruce Willis, arguably his worst move ever…and that includes Die Hard II. But the idea behind Surrogates is happening today, online and throughout social media.

Doubt it?

Think about it!

What is actually behind that smiling face?

The one the profile picture projects?

Do you have any way of knowing?

In a few cases, you do…if they use video and/or you have had actual, human interaction.

But for the majority?

We have no idea!

But we blather away and divulge our innermost thoughts to total stangers and we don’t even think about what we are going to say, how we are going to say it, or who we are saying it to.

We shoot from the hip…and then it is gone!

Can we fix this?

I doubt it!

I believe we have gone over to The Dark Side...or whatever comes next.

The saddest part?

We have children, teenagers, and young adults who will never know the wonder of the written word, rarely read, and never sit down to write anything more meaningful than a video description or a text message.

Is the written word dead?

Not in the Fahernheit 451 sense, at least not yet.

But as we once knew it?

I am afraid so!

I speak to students every day who cannot write. I know college students who, beyond English 101 and English 102, have never taken an essay exam or written a paper.

I have hired writers making serious money on the various “Guru” and “Freelancer” outsourcing sites who cannot write conversationally, writers I have rejected because I refused to accept what they had written…much less put my name on it.

Most writers today cannot write conversationally and are unable to string thoughts together into a cohesive whole.

Sad but true!

Where will it end?

I have no way of knowing. But the evolution is in high gear and we are witnessing the transition online and in our schools today. The end result cannot be good. The written word has been around almost as long as we have in one form or another: first as rudimentary symbols; and ultimately as forms defining meaning.

There is a fundamental link between what happens in our brain, what we put on paper. It is how we learn! Writing is an integral component in the learning process and one that is being written out, forgive the pun.

You probably stopped reading this a while ago.

However, if you didn’t?

I’ll see you on Twitter!

Thanks for taking the time to read this and please leave your thoughts, they enrich all of us!

John Zajaros
The Ultimate Internet Image
Lakewood, Ohio 44107
216-712-7004

Or…The Linchpin Trilogy!

Heaven By Way of a Map – Part I

How’s that for a title?!

I thought over the next week or so I would write a couple of articles, and maybe throw in a couple of videos about what is is really like to come back from The Dark Side…the side of life so many are running away from every day. Running with a part of themselves still anchored in that old mindset and that old life.

Those are difficult shackles to break and the scars of the chains will perhaps remain forever.

Will they last for the remainder of my life? It is hard to say!

Most of us were raised with a certain mindset, some of it a carryover from The Great Depression thinking of our grandparents and great grandparents.

And some of it, a consequence of the old school Horatio Alger Rags to Riches mythology so many bought into with no real map for how to do anything more than grow up, go to college, get a job, get married, have 2 or 3 or 4 kids (I have a funny story for later on about that), place money in a retirement account, watch it grow (slowly), work for the same company for our entire adult lives, wait for retirement, play with our grandkids, perhaps travel a bit (on less than we struggled to live on for the last 50 years – I don’t think so), and die!

Scary…but true!

So, I thought I would share a bit of how I unshackled and my thoughts about the experience over the next few days.

Will it have to do with entrepreneurship?

A little.

Will is have to do with inbound marketing?

Only in that it is my life raft, my way out.

But more than that, it is a signal of a shift in the fundamental mindset of millions of people who are saying in one way or another:

I am mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more!

So, on with the show!

This is an opening act. Throughout this week I will share a bit of the old thinking and some of the new; and, what it took to get here.

If it helps one person break free, or even consider breaking free, it will have been a success!

Let me know what you think!

Share your thoughts and comments below…not only for me but for everyone who stops here from time to time.

Thanks!

I slept in this morning…until noon! The old Me, still firmly entrenched after 55 years, generated more than a twinge of guilt! Old habits (and “Mes”) die hard!

The new me is sitting here in my gym shorts and a cut off t-shirt…happily typing away!

Connie is at work, she works because with my medical history no one else will insure us and, with our medical system, if we don’t have insurance and I get sick again…well, you know the rest.

Not surprisingly, TuffGuy and Bart could care less what I have on. Nor does my keyboard give a half a hoot!

But I can still hear one of my first employer saying:

“Selling is like shaving! If you don’t do it every day you’re a bum!”

Talk about a mindset sticking around!

35 years later and I can still hear his words!

Norm was a nice man who had a lot of sayings like that. He took me under his wing and allowed me to spread my wings as a salesman when no one was hiring anyone for a sales position without experience.

At that time, I was focused on one thing…making it big!

A good sales job was one of the quickest routes to “The Good Life.“

And at the time I was all for that!

Funny how we get for what we ask for and it comes back to bite us in the “butt.”

We spend years of our lives, ransoming out bits and pieces of our Selves.

And for what?

Security?

Security is an illusion!

The only security any of us have is between our ears!

The only value we offer is in what we do, how we do it, and the difficulty someone or some entity (i.e., company) has in replacing us.

In other words, Seth Godin’s words, becoming a Linchpin.

This idea isn’t new…but it certainly seems to be generating a lot of excitement.

You see, doing something extraordinary is so rare, and to many so inconceivable, that is the surest way to true “security,” whatever that means; and, if that’s what you’re after.

But it takes creating your own vision, you own map, and then having the courage to strike out on what can be an amazing journey of discovery.

But you need your own map and you need to “ship!”

In other words, you need to act…and act with a plan!

The problem has always been that we are either working from someone else’s map, a map going nowhere, or no map at all.

Sadly, the latter is usually the case.

Striking out on your own journey is frightening, nerve wracking, and wonderful.

You may feel free for the first time in your life.

Truly free!

At the very least, you will be a lot happier.

And maybe, you’ll even get to spend Mondays doing exactly what you want for as long as you want in whatever garb strikes your fancy!

Nice thought, huh?!

So, today is day one, every day is day one, and I slept in this morning…until noon!

I will write all day today, as I am at this moment, I hope it makes a difference in someone’s life…it is certainly making a difference in mine.

Make your own map. Set a course and then set out on your own journey.

And here’s the key, no matter how powerful the Old Me is, he or she will weaken!

Just never look back and never deviate from your plan!

Course corrections?

To be sure!

But focus on your map and have an amazing journey!

Life is too short to waste it following someone else’s map…live your own life!

Please share your thoughts, ideas…your story!

Thank you for taking a bit of time to read my thoughts.

You are appreciated!

John Zajaros
The Ultimate Internet Image
Lakewood, Ohio
216-712-7004

Life Lessons: The Ultimate Question?
How do you want to live and define your life?

Throughout our lives we are faced with many decisions, some of them are very difficult and present themselves at crucial points along the way. Many of the decisions we are faced with will ultimately shape and define the course of our lives; and, the become life lessons!

These choices, when they present themselves, are almost never easy and usually have to do with a price that must be paid, at times a high price, in order to achieve a certain goal or result. In most cases, the result or goal we are seeking is something we must trade for, something we will receive in return for something we must give of ourselves….and others, directly or indirectly.

In other words, in order to achieve the goal or goals we view to be so important, we may have to pay a heavy price.

Interestingly, the decisions we must make and the commitments we are required to make along with them, for goals we are (or were) actively pursuing, goals we had determined to be essential to our overall success in life, may not be the same decisions and/or commitments we would make in retrospect, with the added 20/20 perspective only hindsight can provide.

Not only do many of the goals seem unimportant once we achieve them, we may also question the decision making that went into such a quest to begin with.

Once again, many of these goals come at a significant cost, not only to ourselves, but also to those we love and care for.

I am often reminded of the saying:

Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it!

This is so true!

Significantly, many of the career and life goals we set out to achieve early in our careers, the goals we set for ourselves and for our family, come at too high a price.

In many instances, when faced with the ultimate question:

Success at what price?

Many would be unwilling to pay the price if they knew then what they only come to know much later.

Goals and Material Things

This is particularly true when the goals in life are linked to material goods or “things.” Many of the “things” we attach so much significance to when we are young just do not appear to have the same value later in life. Many of the material “things” are generally not worth the price that must be paid by ourselves and those we love to attain, achieve, and/or acquire them.

This realization is generally viewed from a perspective of time and proximity!

In other words, the closer we get to whatever it is we once believed to crucial to our success, the achievement of a goal that will in some way define us and transform our lives, and those of our loved ones, the more likely we are to see it in an entirely different light.

Additionally, the more severe the cost, particularly in terms of the human cost, trading our time (our absence) for an object or a gratifying moment, the less apt we would be to pay for it had we to do it over again.

Think for a moment about that before getting defensive and saying “You are just being negative!”

Do you know what Sam Walton’s last 3 words were?

One of the most “successful” men on the planet and the founder of Wal-Mart said this:

“I blew it!”

Thanks to my friend Marc Warnke, author of Family First Entrepreneurship (awesome book about time, proximity, and family!) for that video!

What we have invested in, usually our blood, sweat, tears, and time may no longer seem important…or even appropriate given time and proximity.

Perhaps an example will help!

In 1984 I got a job with an advertising and marketing company and immediately went to a solid 6 figure income. I had just walked away from a business I founded and still owned part of because I had become the Dunkin Donuts guy! Remember him? Talk about a memorable USP (unique selling proposition)!

“I made the donuts!”

Well, I was that guy. I was working 16 to 18 hours a day 6 days a week and then doing paperwork for several hours on Sunday…just to catch up. Only to begin again on Monday. What had once been my baby and the most important thing in my life had turned into something akin to the entrepreneurial version of the Bataan Death March, in both physical and psychological terms!

The havoc that schedule was wreaking on my health after three years was noticeable and the effect and impact on my mental outlook was nothing short of disastrous. I was beginning a new life, my son was still young, and I didn’t want the rest of my life to be an everyday death march, passing myself coming and going 365 days a year.

So I got out!

Not right away, mind you..but I knew something had to change. It took getting sick, mononucleosis as a matter of fact.  Mono seemed particularly appropriate for some reason because I owned a health club and trained athletes. But what mono really did for me was it allowed me to step away from the trees long enough to see the forest. Once I did, the decision was easy. I was killing myself bit by bit but was so invested in the “ownership” of the concept the business was built up0on I lost sight of the fact that the business no longer looked anything like the one I started 4 years earlier.

And, I had indeed become The Dunkin Donuts Guy!

The decision was made easier when a friend, Dave M, walked into my office and put his paycheck on the table. He knew I was one of those people you call a “born salesman,” even though I hate conventional sales tactics, and particularly script selling. Dave also knew I was thinking about moving on to a new venture….but what?

Well, Dave looked me in the eye and asked me how long I was going to continue to kill myself when he knew for a fact that I could make at least as much as he had put in front of me, week in and week out and not work half as hard. The paycheck, for a 4 and 1/2 day workweek was in the mid-4 figures.

Now, when I started my business we were bringing in between $20,000 and $30,000 a month, during the late 70s and early 80s recession, but that was channeled right back into the business and I rarely took a dime. As time went on, although the business was doing well, I never bothered to take a paycheck because the business was mine, until I started taking on partners (big mistake and the topic for another post), and I really didn’t need the money.

Nice, huh?

But I was intrigued with Dave’s offer!

I said I would think about it, talked to Connie about the traveling involved in a advertising and marketing gig and the stress of a marketing job like that, and decided to go ahead with it.

That 6 figure position came complete with a road map to the good life. I had a new direction to my life, a direction based on a decision made at a time when I wasn’t really thinking clearly. But the decision seemed to be a good one. I was on my way, set new goals, and even said “I do!”

New job, new life, new wife, new home in my home town of Bay Village…what more could one ask for?

My attorney notified me after two months with the firm that I was officially making enough money to put me in the top 5% of all wage earners in the country!

All seemed right with the world!

“Then Depression Set In! Bill Murray in Stripes

I’ll never forget that line!

Unfortunately, I hadn’t taken into account how taxing the travel would be, 3 weeks out of every month on the road, home for the weekend only to go back on the road Sunday night or early Monday morning. Yes, Connie traveled with me from time to time but it was distracting and I felt guilty leaving her for extended periods at the hotel. Here we were, newlyweds and I was leaving 3 of every 4 weeks in the month. And I wasn’t traveling to postcard destinations!

I was going to Buffalo, Detroit, Cincinnati, Columbus, Pittsburgh, and, heaven help me, Ashtabula and Chillicothe, Ohio. Yes, the money was super and we were put up in Las Vegas on the company for as few days and I was routinely in the top 5 in the country…but the traveling was a downer.

I also hadn’t realized how much I would hate the prospecting part of the business, it had been presented quite differently! I was often making cold calls for 3-5 hours a day, Tuesday through Thursday, in order to set up my afternoon sales appointments and presentations. I got to the point where I could not pick up the telephone without getting physically ill and would be in a bad mood all day Sunday, knowing I had to go back on the road Sunday night or Monday.

Talk about hating the phone and cold calling! Something I still haven’t overcome!

I was the Dunkin Donuts guy again!

I finally came to the realization, just as I had with my own business, that regardless of the money and the commitment, I had to quit!

This was way before Seth Godin’s popularity but we would have been on the same page:

This wasn’t a Dip, this was a cliff! And, there was nothing else to do but QUIT!

The stress of being in a Type A environment and being a Type A personality, I was doomed to repeat this sort of scenario over and over again. I was selling myself to the highest bidder for a paycheck.

I needed something else…something more…or the cycle would repeat itself over and over again for the rest of my life!

The cost of pursuing that lifestyle came at a such a high price to myself and family, both in terms of time away from the family but also in terms of the high stress carryover into our family’s day-to-day affairs, it just wasn’t worth it.

Our loved ones suffer, often silently, as they watch us burn the candle at both ends, as well as in the middle, just to provide more material “things.”

Something had to change!

You know, most families would rather have us home and happy versus killing ourselves for a few bucks more in a paycheck…and a house with too many bedrooms.

Time, Proximity, and Do-Overs

Sadly, time and proximity are tough to buck!

Unless you buy into the whole Back to the Future thing and have access to a Flux Capacitor and an old DeLorean, hindsight is pretty much going to remain hindsight.

I have talked about do-overs here before and I was granted a do-over. New family, new educational opportunities, a new lease on life, literally. I got my do-over and so far have not squandered it…so far. Funny thing about time, it does things to you memory and may even alter perspective, it is a trap.

The old saying:

Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it!

I will not forget the lessons of my past. The things I thought were so crucial? The goals and the things I believed important? The things that would define my success and provide the lifestyle I had envisioned for my family?

I was wrong!

I hope you are able to benefit from my hindsight. “Choose wisely Grasshopper!” Many of the goals we set for ourselves are based on what someone else pushed into our heads from early on in our lives and the things we think precious? They are right in front of you when you sit at the dinner table. They are next to you when you say good night. They are on the other end of the telephone saying “I love you Dad!” when they are away from home.

The most important things in life, the life lessons?

It’s the intangibles!

The rest is scrap! The rest is replaceable, breaks, rusts, burns down, gets stolen, is devalued or is otherwise impermanent.

We come into this world naked and we are going out the same way. The only thing permanent you will have with you as you face your maker, and Sam Walton found this out too late (I wonder how much he would have paid for a do-over? My bet? Anything! )  is the love of those you have touched…that is your immortality!

Your ultimate success will be defined in terms of how others remember you. Your ultimate success will be viewed in terms of the TIME you spent with those you love and who love you! Your success will be recognized in terms of the PROXIMITY you allowed others to have to you!

Time and Proximity

Unfortunately, as most of your moms have probably said about you, and mine said about me, we seem to have to learn things for ourselves…the hard way! I hope not!

Do you want to be able to say:

I got it right…I nailed it! My life had value and meaning!

Or will you say what so many others have said before you:

I blew it!

Thanks for taking the time to get through this. I know it took some time and I hope you feel it was well invested. If so, please pass this along, comment, provide feedback…including your own anecdotes!

Thanks!

John Zajaros
The Ultimate Internet Image
Lakewood, Ohio 44107
216-712-7004 (office)
440-821-7018 (cell)
Skype: johnzajaros1
excellencepaidforward@gmail.com (personal email address)

PS, Join me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn!

Life Lessons: Word of Mouth Advertising Going Strong After 4 Decades
The Lesson of Jack Palmer and Chuck Christian

My little dog, TuffGuy, and I were out for our usual midnight walk last night. We started last summer, a way to get back into shape, lose some weight (both of us), and overcome the chronic back pain and sciatica I had endured for many years. TuffGuy and I walked last year until the snow fell; it was a very enjoyable routine. We stopped, mainly because the salt and ice hurt his paws. TuffGuy would have continued, just as dogs will walk with their masters in the hot summer sun until they fall over dead of heat exhaustion, too loyal and too happy for the time together to quit. I have always thought of that as the most powerful example of unconditional love I have every heard of. For that reason I am well aware of how far dogs will push themselves beyond the pain barrier, just to be with their masters, so I am very careful with ours.

We also stopped because people don’t shovel their sidewalks anymore. In fact, I believe the failure to shovel your sidewalk, while seemingly very insignificant, is really a symptom of the fact that neighbors and neighborhoods aren’t connected. In fact, we aren’t even neighbors and there aren’t neighborhoods any more, just people living next door or in the area. Yes, there are exceptions but for the most part, the “village” is long gone. Perhaps everyone is inside tweeting? For whatever the reason, “neighbors” have, as a general rule, ceased to care about the residents on either side of them.

So, why bother!

Anyway, when I lost my walking buddy, my accountability partner, as I call him, it just wasn’t as much fun. When the fun went out of it, I just stopped, not willing to risk the sidewalks and the ice…not after 15 major surgeries on my neck, back, and shoulder.

No way!

So, when the weather started to get nice again, I got the itch. I also felt the waistline on my pants a bit more than I wanted to. Then, my daughter said TuffGuy was starting to look like a sausage!

Well, offend me but never my dog!

Consequently, TuffGuy and I were right back at it, saying hello to all the doormen in front of the bars along Detroit Ave; and, all as if we hadn’t missed a beat. I am always greeted with a friendly smile and a kind word but it is TuffGuy that gets the bulk of the attention:

“Hey! TuffffGuuuyyy!”

Is the standard greeting from the doormen.

“Awwww isn’t he cute!”

Comes from the pretty girls.

He, of course, wants nothing to do with them but they all want to pet him.

Now, if I were a 20 something single guy…..

Need I say more?

TuffGuy is what we used to so inappropriately call a “chick magnet” back in the day. In fact, he works better than any Corvette I have ever owned or been seen in! Often on Detroit Ave when I was growing up.

Life Lesson: If you’re a single guy and want to meet pretty girls?

Get a cute little dog and go for walks on any street in America like Detroit Ave. Detroit Avenue is safe, has lots of bars and pizza joints, and lots of pretty girls! Oh to be 20 something again.

Not on your life!

So, 500 words later I get to the main Life Lesson? Not quite but almost. Better late then never, as my mom would always say when I walked in late for dinner:

“John Patrick!”

Or, if I was really in the dog house:

“John Patrick Jude Zajaros!!”

Then I knew it was all over for the evening…or the week.

Grounded!

So anyway, I was walking with TuffGuy and I started to catch up with this older gentleman and his rather huge dog. The older gentleman was not small either. In fact, he was about 6’4” and probably weighed in at about 225lbs. Not a small guy!

Big, bald, and he seemed to be slowing down?

I started to slow down too! I walk for solitude and to listen to my audiobooks. I didn’t want to get stuck, I wanted to go about my routine. Besides, you never know with people and especially people with dogs, big dogs. I have run into all kinds on our walks; and, so has TuffGuy.

Additionally, dogs can be funny, you just never know how they’re going to react with other dogs or with strange people. Dogs are kind of like people in that way, I suppose, situationally unpredictable. You see, I know this from watching TuffGuy. We have plenty of experience with all the people who want to pet him on our walks and they just assume he will let them. Well, he doesn’t go for it at all; and is, in fact, very stand-offish.

But when it comes to other dogs? TuffGuy doesn’t know he’s ¾ Pug and ¼ Beagle, he thinks because he looks like a miniature Bull Mastiff he is one! Consequently, TuffGuy sees another dog, he wants to do the dog thing and check him or her out…preferably her!

Life Lesson: A male is a male is a male!

Well, TuffGuy and this man seemed to be thinking the same thing, bent on meeting, so I relented and we caught up.

The dogs did their doggy thing, sniffed, wagged their tails, and generally had a good old time. It was fun to watch them make nice for a while. The Big Guy and I started to talk and walk and do the guy thing, sans the waging of the tails!

Everything seemed to be OK!

Turns out the Big Guy’s name was Chuck Christian and he usually walks his dog earlier in the evening. I walked TuffGuy a bit earlier than usual, it was such a nice night and I wanted to get out. Because Chuck was walking Beast a bit later than usual, we ran into each other.

And no, his dog’s name isn’t Beast, I just never got his name and it seemed to fit the story and the Big Guy. I’ll get it next time…promise!

So, Beast it is!

Anyway, Chuck told me he lived down the street, had for 40 years. Seems he bought his house from a guy by the name of Jack Palmer.

“Do you know Jack?” he asked me.

“Well,” he went on, “Jack Palmer is the most honest man in Lakewood. That house was in need of a lot when we moved in, bunch a bikers had lived there and the lady who owned it wanted them out. I had a friend and he told me to see Jack Palmer and no one else, that Jack Palmer is the most honest guy I’d ever meet. And he was right! Jack Palmer is the most honest man I have ever dealt with!”

Chuck Christian went on to tell me a bit more about himself and the house, where his son lived, and some additional things about his life, but he kept coming back to “Jack Palmer, the most honest man, a great man!”

It seems that Chuck had also seen TuffGuy and I before, at the metro parks dog park, so we talked about that for a while, and walked.

Back to the Life Lesson

Now, the fact that Chuck Christian knew Jack Palmer as “the most honest man he had ever dealt with” wasn’t what intrigued me most, although it was certainly enough to consider calling Jack if I was ever in need of another property, it was how long it had been since Chuck had purchased the house from Jack and how many people Chuck has told that story to over the past 40 years!

Imagine that for a moment!

One man, happily talking about a great and “honest” guy by the name of Jack Palmer for 40 years. Get that? Chuck is still talking about his “friend” 40 years after he has done business with him.

If ever there was an example of Girard’s Law of 250 I was witnessing it firsthand!

You see, according to Girard’s Law of 250, everyone has in his or her sphere of influence 250 people. Everyone has 250 people they know well enough and have enough influence over that they will show up at their wake or funeral when they pass away. It is anecdotal but it makes sense. Funeral directors, as a rule, order 250 cards for the passing of most people because they have discovered over the years that 250 people will pay their last respects.

The beginnings of the Law of 250!

Interestingly, Joe Girard heard this and took it another step. If you alienate one person a day and that person has a sphere of influence of 250 people…

…and so on…and so….and so on…

In a year you would have enough people to fill the Giant’s Stadium or Yankee Stadium, all screaming “Don’t buy from “(insert name here)!”

Powerful marketing lesson!

Significantly, let’s look at the reverse scenario:

Chuck Christian has been telling people about his “honest” friend Jack Palmer for 40 years! Not just his immediate sphere of influence, they have probably heard it until they, Chuck, and everyone else are blue in the face. It’s the other people he tells, complete strangers on his walk with Beast every day, that’s the kicker!

That is not only a marketing lesson, that is a…Yup!

Life Lesson!

If he just tells one person each and every day for 365 days over for 40 years? That’s 14,600 people who have all heard that Jack Palmer is the most honest guy in the world to deal with, in any profession.

Let’s apply Girard’s Law to that and say that each of those people knows 250 people and not do the whole Breck thing or we will be at it all night.

3,650,000 people!

That’s a LIFE LESSON!

If he gets a .01% response from the Law of 250 he sells 365 homes over his lifetime thanks to one man…Chuck Christian!

That’s 3,650,000 x .0001

Interestingly, and this is the 40 million dollar question:

How many Chuck Christians do you know and do business with day in and day out? And, more significantly, which side of the equation are you on?

There are only two:

1) That SOB or the Bleeping Company, I’ll never buy anything else from him (them) as long as I live, he (they) is (are) the most dishonest (disreputable) guy (company) on the planet!

2) Or, That (insert name here), he (or she or they) is (are) the most honest man (or woman or company) on (insert city, town, or village) planet!

Ultimately, it is a choice, which side of the equation you and/or your company will be on in this.

But one thing is absolutely certain, the ultimate Life Lesson:

This world is shrinking and with it the room to run, to start over, or to repair or rebuild a soiled reputation.

The Law of 250 and The Jack Palmer Lesson are one in the same and, if you don’t think so, you have a rude awakening around the bend because the world is a very small place, for anyone or any company!

John Zajaros
216-712-7004
johnz@johnzajaros.com

PS, I will share some horror stories that I have had and others that have been shared with me, not to soil anyone’s reputation but to forewarn those who are not the most honest, the most reputable, before they fall victim to individuals or companies who feel there is an unending supply of clients and all they have to do is run more, bigger, and louder ads. Not any more!

PPS, If you doubt the power of one person to make a difference? Google “Dell Hell” and you will get 164,000 resulting web pages and it all started with one angry individual who couldn’t get his laptop serviced and was “mad has hell and not going to take it any more!” Or just check out Randy Cassingham’s awesome blog “This is True!” It will wake you up to what one person with a voice can do…and anyone can develop a voice online!

Where Do We Fail? The Death of Dreams

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how we end up, where we end up. It may be a consequence of my getting older, notice I didn’t say “old,” but I believe there is more to life. How do we define success and what defines a failure?

Perhaps it has grown out of my own life experiences, combined with my experiences, hopes, desires, and even frustrations as a parent. I don’t know, perhaps it is just one of those things we begin to think about as we age? But for whatever reason, I think it is a subject worth writing about…so here goes!

Question:

Have you ever wondered what happened to the little boy or girl you used to be? You know the one I am talking about, don’t you?

The dreamer, the little kid who wanted to be a fireman or a doctor or an astronaut or even the President of the United States! We have all been there, or almost all of us…haven’t we?

Yes, some of us are those things but, unfortunately, most of us have settled for less, much less than we once dreamed of becoming. At some point on our journey through life, we threw in the towel!

So, what happened to that person?

I know, I know!

We grew up, right? Life intrudes. We got older and more responsible.

Wrong, that’s a cop out!

Or, more plainly…horse manure!

The fact is, we get beat up…at least the majority of us anyway. Now, I’m not talking about a physical beating, although that is certainly part of it for some, unfortunately, I am talking about the way the system (i.e., schools, friends, and even well-meaning family members) systematically teach us to be “realistic” and “practical” over a lifetime until we finally settle for less than we had once envisioned.

The dreams of our childhood become the flights of fancy, youthful exuberance, not to be taken seriously. We are taught to fit in, to be good team members, to tow the line. Our creativity and imagination are sytematically attacked and ultimately dismantled, until the dreams and visions of childhood are a fleeting memory.

Sad but true!

How many grow up saying:

“I want to be a middle manager at a downtown warehouse!”

Or:

“I really want to be a short-order cook for the greasy spoon down by the highway!”

Right, me too!

NOT!

Now, imagine being in your 40s or 50s and looking back, wondering what happened. Interestingly, while many of us have had these moments, not many talk about them. Heck, no one will even admit to having these thoughts!

Why?

Because to do so is an admission, we are saying that somewhere along the line something went wrong, terribly wrong, we settled, we allowed others to derail our grand designs for an exciting life…we allowed life to define us instead defining our lives!

So, you are 40 or 60 or 70 and you look back at your life and you don’t like what you see.

Welcome to the club!

Are you too late? Is it too late?

Many would believe it is, many would have you believe it is, and many would tell you it is. Significantly, those closest to you will argue it is; and, that you need to be “practical” and “realistic!”

Remember those well-meaning friends and relatives?

Yup!

They are also the same ones who have shot down every new idea you have had over the span of a lifetime.

Why?

Not for you!

For them!

Because, after all, what if you do succeed? What if you do something amazing? What will that say about them and their lives?

Do not kid yourself, most people at a very primitive level, do not want you to succeed because that would make them feel bad!

Interestingly, it is not too late, that there is plenty of time. You can, and should, step back and reassess the tragectory of you life, beginning anew. To do otherwise is a waste of life!

Let me ask you this?

Let’s say you are 40 years old. And, let’s say you are miserable, that you dread waking up in the morning and facing another day of your life as it is, that you can’t understand where you went wrong but you are ceratin of one thing…it is all wrong!

If you do nothing, how old will you be in 20 years? 30 years?

Yup!

You will be 60 or 70 years old!

Right?

Now, you have a choice, you can be 60 or 70 years of age and have enjoyed the past 20 or 30 years, doing what you want, what excites you, and what makes you happy. Or, you can be 60 or 70 years of age and have lived, if you actually survive another two or three decades doing something you dread each and every day, facing even more of what you have dreaded for decades, the life you despise.

What life-trajectory would you choose?

Now, let’s say you are 30 or 40?

You have at the very least 4 decades of your life ahead of you!

Do you wake up every day glad to be alive? Are you doing something that excites and fulfills you?

If not, bail!

Do it yesterday!

I know, I know!

Here’s the party-line, what the majority will think and respond with:

“But I have a family, I have obligations, I can’t just walk away from my responsibilities!”

Poppycock!

Your family will be there for you, if they truly love you and want the best for you, they will support you. If your family is so caught up in their life own lives that they cannot see you are suffering, that you are in terrible pain (the cave you are in), then it is time to look hard at your relationship.

Do you honestly believe anyone who truly loves you will have you live another 30 or 40 years doing something you detest each and every day?

That, in and of itself, is a death sentence!

Somewhere along the line, some of us, many of us, have allowed someone, or more likely a series of someones, to derail our hopes and dreams for an amazing life. We went along with what they were selling and, when we woke up half of our life was gone.

I am telling you today you can still have it, you can have it all! It is not too late!

We have all heard the Colonel Saunders story. Broke and on Social Security he carved out a new life selling his chicken recipe.

Limiting beliefs?

You can do it again and you can do it all over, beginning today!

Just like when we were kids, you get a do-over each and every day. It is up to you how you use it. You can never go back but the wealth of knowledge you have collected over a lifetime makes you a better person, more likely to succeed at whatever it is you want to accomplish.

Again, it is up to you.

I call do-over!

From this moment forward you can cave in and forever resign yourself to an existence as a resident of Plato’s cave…or you can step out into the light of life and do something amazing. True, you might not qualify for astronaurt training but I understand Richard Branson is taking reservations for Virgin Galactic!

Do-over!

Call it out…begin anew…begin today!

Contact me anytime!

John Zajaros

216-712-6526 (home)
440-821-7018 (cell)
excellencepaidforward@gmail.com (personal email)

PS, If you have children, guard their dreams carefully and nurture their imagination and their creativity. The people who can truly think creatively and imaginatively will be in demand throughout their lives. Heck, they are already! Seth Godin calls them Linchpins, I call them indispensable!

The Groundhog Day Lesson: A Lesson for Business Success…Life Success!

I love the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched it over the years. Bill Murray is something of an enigma, sometimes absolutely brilliant and other times he is just plain awful…or the parts he plays are anyway. Perhaps he tries to stretch himself, do the unconventional, accept the risky, non traditional roles in order to pursue his craft, his art. For whatever reason, he can absolutely leave me in stitches or make me want to bolt for the door.

However, because he has the ability to captivate and entertain, I take a chance with his movies time and again. Groundhog Day and What About Bob? are two of his bests!

Another Murray role, The Razor’s Edge, is a bit gritty but tells a tale, a 1984 Hollywood remake of a 1946 Tyrone Power film of the 1944 bestseller by W. Somerset Maugham, of a disenchanted and disillusioned WWI veteran seeking to find himself in India after The Great War. Murray pulls off the part of Larry Darrell in a way that touches the heart and reminds us that Vietnam veterans were not the only ones affected by what is now called PTSD, that there was in fact an entire generation that was lost: The Lost Generation.

Indeed, nothing is new!

What does any of this have to do with the title of this article? What does Bill Murray’s selection of movie roles, and in particular his performance in the movie Groundhog Day, have to do with marketing and brick and mortar business success?

It’s really pretty obvious if you stop and think about it; and, if you have seen the movie. The movie is about living the same day over and over again until you get it right. But more that that, it is about mindset and the realization that each day can be a learning experience, one that will ultimately get you to your goal…regardless of how elusive that goal may initially seem to be.

The magic of the story is in the progression of Bill Murray‘s character, Phil Connors, a Pittsburg weatherman trapped day after day in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. At first, Connors (Murray) does the same thing over and over again, doomed to repeat the same mundane exercises day in and day out, always on Groundhog Day.

Phil, yes, the same name as the Groundhog, eventually tires of the experience and attempts to put an end to the torture by, among other things, driving off a cliff, along with Punxsutawney Phil himself (the groundhog) seated at the steering wheel with him. And yes, only to awaken again the next morning to the same some on the clock radio, the same music blaring I Got You Babe by Sonny and Cher, and the same cornball radio announcer reading the same corny script!

Same radio announcer, same morning routine, same Phil. Day in, day out, misery every step of the way!

After days of repetition, boredom, and failing in every attempt to end it all, realizing that he was never going to escape, a light bulb goes off and Phil Connors hatches a plan.

In Hollywood it’s always about “the girl!” But in life it could be anything…but it is still, usually, about “the girl!”

So, falling for his producer, the beautiful Rita played by the indeed stunning Andie MacDowell, Murray has incentive to change, to rethink his life and, in setting his sights on Rita, Connors has a goal, a reason to live…and to learn!

This is a key component of the story line, and this is Hollywood, so everything revolves around this infatuation, an infatuation that ultimately leads to much more.

But you have to see the movie for that!

Anyway, Connors sees an opening and begins to treat every new day as a learning experience, a learning experience that will ultimately lead to a relationship with the object of his desire, Rita!

Instead of simply going through each and every day as he had the one before, dreading the routine he had been sentenced to, Murray’s character begins to study, learn, and finally…grow!

OK! I have said enough about Groundhog Day. But I hope you can see where I am going with this?

As business owners this lesson is particularly applicable. For that matter, the lesson applies to anyone who wakes up day after day to the same old, same old. You see, we go through the same routine, we apply the same strategies, and we hope for the same outcome, day in and day out.

Every day the alarm clock goes off at the same time, we get up to the same radio station, we drink the same coffee, we run the same distance or do the same workout (maybe!), drive the same car, open the same door to the same business at the same time, and we apply the same strategies to our running of the business in the same way with the same effect…day in and day out!

…because it is what we know…because it is safe!

Not only is this tragic, it is a waste of life!

It is a death sentence!

Personally, spiritually, financially, and emotionally…you are walking around day after day and it is always….

GROUNDHOG’S DAY!

It doesn’t have to be that way!

In the movie, Phil Connors discovers, after being repeatedly brutalized by the mundane, stagnant life he has come to accept as his ultimate reality, that each day is another opportunity to do it better, to get it right, and to grow in the process.

Triumph!

Phil Connors begins to live each day, building upon the one before, a progression towards a goal. Yes, Rita in the movie…
…but we all have our own “Rita,” don’t we?

How sad it is, how unfortunate that, as stated above, most of us get up in the morning, go through our morning rituals, get to work, go through another set of rituals, and before we know it is time to go home, another ritual.

We get home, go through another set of routines, part of which is usually telling whoever asks that nothing much happened, just another day at the office, and then we retire, another ritual….only to do it again…tomorrow…

Groundhog Day!

Over and over again! Nothing new, nothing learned, just repetition and a sick feeling that our lives are not our own, that they are certainly not what we had envisioned so very long ago.

We do the same things hoping that it will be enough and by the time the light bulb does go off…it is often too late! No time for a do-over, no time for anything new because we didn’t snap out of it in time.

Twilight Zone?

“Picture this, a life, a business, a person going nowhere. See the man on an endless treadmill, one he does not see, cannot see, will not see…until it is too late.

“And then?

“Well, then it is over…until tomorrow…when he will once again mount the treadmill and once again……Groundhog Day……”

It is NOT too late! There is indeed time!

We all get do-overs throughout our lives…we just have to be smart enough to recognize them as opportunities for growth, opportunities to learn, to something greater than our present selves!

Life is not a death sentence, the same old, same old!

Groundhog Day can mean the beginning of a new day, a day to learn, to grow, to become something more!

It is up to you!

John

Family, Tutoring Kids, and Consulting Businesses: Empathy and Life

This has been a week for life lessons, particularly lessons in empathy. Over the past week I have been reminded of the power of putting myself in another’s shoes, walking a mile in them, over and again; and, I am better for the experience.

Last week was a full one, as most weeks are now that I am rebuilding my life. Fighting illness for over a decade, an illness I once believed would take my life, I have little time for idleness and spend every waking hour teaching, coaching, mentoring, and consulting. In my spare time, I spend all my time with my family.

I love the time I am able to share with my granddaughters Kailyn and Brynn…the lights of my life! To think I almost lost that? I am so grateful just to be here!

Back to Empathy

In the last week I have been reminded over and over again that in order to be successful in life one must understand and practice empathy.

I have watched my kids struggle, learning the life lessons I can’t teach them, the ones they must learn for themselves. I have been challenged in ways only a parent and grandparent who loves his family more than life itself can be, having to step back and let life take its course…regardless of the pain it must cause.

I know what my kids must be feeling; and yet, I cannot and must not interfere if they are to grow into strong and self reliant adults. Empathy is a double-edged sword and at times it cuts deep.

Empathy!

On Friday night I sat with a mother and father, parents obviously in pain, two people trying to understand and deal with their son’s ADHD. To their credit, while divorced they sat at the kitchen table next to each other to discuss their son’s needs.

In order to come to grips with what their son is experiencing they put their personal differences aside, they acted in a loving and selfless manner in order to help their child. It was obvious these wonderful people felt sympathy, compassion, concern, and, above all, unconditional love.

I felt empathy!

As I sat there, discussing the issues their son was, is, and will be facing over the next few years, I watched as the young boy’s mother held back the tears. I was moved, holding back my own tears, knowing what she was experiencing first hand. You see, I was that parent 28 years ago, sitting with an expert, seeking answers for my child. The empathy I saw in that young counselor’s eyes almost three decades ago is undoubtedly the same sort empathy, and sympathy, that little boy’s mother and father saw in my eyes, heard in my voice, as I tried to consult, console, and encourage.

Empathy!

As a marketing consultant specializing in inbound marketing and working with small and medium sized businesses, I have had occasion to consult with quite a few businessmen and women over the past few weeks and months. Sadly, I see concern, worry, dismay, and even fatigue in their eyes and on their faces. As we speak, I hear the concern and the weariness in their voices as they speak of the current economy and their concerns for their businesses, their employees, their families, and their futures.

I know what they are feeling on so many different levels, I feel their pain and I know the concern they feel for those they feel responsible for.

Empathy!

When I take on a client I interview them, more-so than they-me. I am attempting to get to know them, understand them, empathize with them.

When I consult with parents and business owners alike, I do all I can to understand what concerns and motivates them. You see, if I can empathize with them and with their situation, if I can understand and even relate to what they are experiencing on a personal level, I can serve them. If we are a good match, and I understand who they are and why they are seeking my help, I can go the extra mile when necessary. When required, I can take on some of their pain and help them through the most difficult patches.

If I can’t empathize with them, if I can’t relate to them and/or their concerns, I can’t serve them; and, they are better off with someone else.

Empathy!

Empathy allows us to identify with friends, family, business associates, and even complete strangers. Empathy allows us to connect with one another in a way that makes the bond a little tighter, a little more special, and a lot easier to maintain during the tests every relationship experiences, personal or business.

I have been asked if my life would be easier, less stressful, if I didn’t “feel” so much!

My answer is always the same:

We all yearn for connection, we seek meaningful relationships, we are all social beings!

Social media has certainly validated this. I have been saying this for years…we need each other to be completely human.

Empathy is a crucial ingredient, without empathy we fail to connect, we are something less than what we can be, must be!

Empathy, along with passion, compassion, and love make us better, allow us to serve our fellow man in a manner that would be impossible without it.

Empathy!

Contact me any time!

John
440-821-7018 (cell)
excellencepaidforward@gmail.com (personal email)

I feel like someone who buys one of those Acai, or is it Acia, cleanses must feel like after the last 10 days!

In my opinion, we tend to think others see the world in terms of how we perceive it to be. When, in fact, there is a HUGE population out there totally computer illiterate and most don’t even know how to set up an email account!

That is good for the future of the Internet generally, and creative Internet marketers specifically, but it is a reality many seem to miss when shaping their world view, our world view!

The key to success online, to Internet marketing success, is not trying to sell each other, the trick is to tap into the virgin market still available and waiting for a creative approach and the right message!

Instead of preaching to the choir, we should be focusing on the masses…because that is where the real opportunity resides!

The choir knows the song by heart, it is in reaching those just beginning the search, just beginning the process of online education, whether in online, stay-at-home businesses or in some other form of Internet commerce, the real opportunity for service and for success rests with the novice, the “newbie,” and not in restating the same message to the same followers in the same way, day in and day out, online, whether through social media or whatever!

It is nice to be back with a fresh set of eyes and a new perspective. Often, the best way to understand something is to step away long enough, and in this case, far enough to be able to see the forest for the trees.

John

Professor John P. J. Zajaros, Sr.
216-712-6526
216-539-7412
Skype: johnzajaros1
johnz@johnzajaros.com

Happy Holidays from My Family to Yours: Treasure the Moments – They are Gone in a Instant!

There are moments in everyone’s life, particularly when raising children, moments that last a lifetime. Whether it is a moment like this or the moment Marc Warnke refers to with his son, Jaken, climbing a rock in his wonderful book ONO: Options not Obligations or myriad others parents carry with them through life, the moments remain treasures, the gems that keep us going…all of us!

This was one of those moments, a blink and it was gone, and yet here it is, my daughter’s Facebook profile picture. The magic I felt so long ago and feel to this day is magic shared. The profound affect and impact the moment had on me was shared by 4 that day…a jewel throughout our collective lives!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Kwanzaa!

Celebrate life in each and every moment, because it is the moments taken collectively that define us and remain our legacy, as evidenced by a profile picture taken 17 years ago, a moment that remained in a 6 year old’s heart all these years!

John