Success is About Helping the Other Person Get There! 

A new client wrote:

Jack-ok-you’re stuck with me. LET’S DO THIS!!!!

I kind of look at this not just as an Internet thing but you are almost a life/business coach as well.

Your experiences as a business owner are invaluable.

I’m Extremely excited to get this moving.

You da man!!

I wrote back:

No! You da man!

I’m glad to have you as a client, a mentee, and a friend! This will be fun for both of us!

Let’s meet tomorrow or Saturday. I’m proud of you (name here). I know it was a tough decision….

This email exchange made everything worth it:

• The sacrifices
• The late nights with no sleep
• The hours invested in developing relationships via social media
• Watching StomperNet videos until I couldn’t watch another
• Reading book upon ebook
• Immersing myself in articles, blog posts, and ecourses
• Overcoming the self-doubt we all face. Yup! We all have it…it’s how we work through it that defines us
• And all the hard work….

Once again, I am the luckiest man alive. Not only because of my business successes but because I have the support of an amazing family and the privilege to work with exactly who I choose to work with…and when! Can anyone think of a better way to spend your working life?

And to think I almost lost my life to illness!

Have a wonderful life. Because it is indeed a wonderful life!

John Zajaros

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Writing: A Love-Hate Relationship

It doesn’t take any special talent or genius to notice that the world we live in has changed. The world is smaller both in the sense of travel and communication. And, because the world is smaller, in the virtual realm at least, we are all more connected…or at least we have the potential to be. With a few clicks of the mouse or a keyboard we can communicate with someone halfway around the world, as if they were sitting in our living room.

Video and all!

What does require mentioning, or at least it must be noted, is that how we communicate has changed, drastically.

No, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to note that things have changed. What needs to be noted is how, and at times how badly, we communicate with each other as a result of these changes.

I have a love/hate relationship with the written word!

I love to write and hate to write.

I love to write because I feel it takes more time to shape what I am going to say and how I am going to say it. I love to write because it makes me think about each and every word I put on a page. I love to write because I have the ability to walk away from what I think I wrote, let it sit long enough for me to look at it with fresh eyes, and come back to it. And finally, I love to write because I can come back to what I think I’ve written, look at what I’ve actually written, and edit it so it communicates my original thoughts in a clear and meaningful manner.

The writing process takes coming up with an idea, thought, planning, time, and patience.

In the end, writing is a beautiful way to communicate because it forces one to think before spouting off or shooting from the hip; and, because it forces one to really think about not only the message but the vehicle of expression and, usually, the context in which the message will be delivered.

How great is that?

On the other hand, I hate writing because it requires time and patience. A paradox? I also hate writing because it is labor intensive. And, I hate writing because writing has changed, as the way we communicate the written word has changed.

Why?

You see, writing used to be something that required all of the things I mentioned when I spoke of my love for writing…and more. Writing used to be about writing stories and letters people appreciated receiving for all the very reasons I love writing.

In other words, the people reading my words knew I had taken the time to sit down and create something special, something unique, and something dedicated to the individual receiving the message.

Or at least that was the impression!

Now?

Sadly, as our world becomes more connected, and as we gain the ability to communicate with people halfway around the world with the click of a mouse or a few clicks of the keyboard, the written word has morphed into email and tweets and posts and texts.

Very often these messages, verbal expressions in written form, have little to do with meaningful communication.

Or, at the very least, they have lost the depth in terms of process and meaning.

In other words, it is no longer necessary to come up with an idea. It is no longer necessary to develop that idea into a well-thought out plan or outline. It is no longer necessary to plan how the message will be communicated and received. It is no longer a matter of taking the time to develop an idea, think about how to communicate it, and how to contextualize it so it is received properly.

And finally, and this is a reflection of the times and all things Internet, patience is no longer in the picture…at all!

In today’s world, we go from idea to blasting that idea to 500 or 5,000 or 50,000 or 500,000 or 1.5 million or 15 million or 150 million in an instant. An instant later, that thought, well-thought out or not, is picked up by Google and scrolled across monitors from here to Hanoi, the world certainly has changed!

No thought, no time, no editing, no patience, and very little meaning!

We have gone from a society that treasured the written word to a society that has transformed it into tweets and posts and emails and texts!

Argh! Texts!!

Where will it all end?

I haven’t the foggiest!

I do know one thing: I am as guilty of this as the next person…or was!

I’d send out an email and have someone react badly to an idea; only to find out that I had written one thing and communicated something altogether different. The difference between what I thought I was saying, and what was being received at the other end, was a consequence of a few badly placed words and an inadequately shaped message.

Why?

Because I forgot the formula and I didn’t take the time!

The writing process is all-the-more corrupted on and by Twitter and Facebook.

In fact, it has been forever altered by social media. We shoot from the hip or blast out meaningless comments to people we don’t know, and have no way of knowing, beyond the 140 characters and the profile picture they allow us to see.

But that’s the topic for a different sort of article.

Want a real eye-opener?

Watch Surrogates with Bruce Willis, arguably his worst move ever…and that includes Die Hard II. But the idea behind Surrogates is happening today, online and throughout social media.

Doubt it?

Think about it!

What is actually behind that smiling face?

The one the profile picture projects?

Do you have any way of knowing?

In a few cases, you do…if they use video and/or you have had actual, human interaction.

But for the majority?

We have no idea!

But we blather away and divulge our innermost thoughts to total stangers and we don’t even think about what we are going to say, how we are going to say it, or who we are saying it to.

We shoot from the hip…and then it is gone!

Can we fix this?

I doubt it!

I believe we have gone over to The Dark Side...or whatever comes next.

The saddest part?

We have children, teenagers, and young adults who will never know the wonder of the written word, rarely read, and never sit down to write anything more meaningful than a video description or a text message.

Is the written word dead?

Not in the Fahernheit 451 sense, at least not yet.

But as we once knew it?

I am afraid so!

I speak to students every day who cannot write. I know college students who, beyond English 101 and English 102, have never taken an essay exam or written a paper.

I have hired writers making serious money on the various “Guru” and “Freelancer” outsourcing sites who cannot write conversationally, writers I have rejected because I refused to accept what they had written…much less put my name on it.

Most writers today cannot write conversationally and are unable to string thoughts together into a cohesive whole.

Sad but true!

Where will it end?

I have no way of knowing. But the evolution is in high gear and we are witnessing the transition online and in our schools today. The end result cannot be good. The written word has been around almost as long as we have in one form or another: first as rudimentary symbols; and ultimately as forms defining meaning.

There is a fundamental link between what happens in our brain, what we put on paper. It is how we learn! Writing is an integral component in the learning process and one that is being written out, forgive the pun.

You probably stopped reading this a while ago.

However, if you didn’t?

I’ll see you on Twitter!

Thanks for taking the time to read this and please leave your thoughts, they enrich all of us!

John Zajaros
The Ultimate Internet Image
Lakewood, Ohio 44107
216-712-7004

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I feel like someone who buys one of those Acai, or is it Acia, cleanses must feel like after the last 10 days!

In my opinion, we tend to think others see the world in terms of how we perceive it to be. When, in fact, there is a HUGE population out there totally computer illiterate and most don’t even know how to set up an email account!

That is good for the future of the Internet generally, and creative Internet marketers specifically, but it is a reality many seem to miss when shaping their world view, our world view!

The key to success online, to Internet marketing success, is not trying to sell each other, the trick is to tap into the virgin market still available and waiting for a creative approach and the right message!

Instead of preaching to the choir, we should be focusing on the masses…because that is where the real opportunity resides!

The choir knows the song by heart, it is in reaching those just beginning the search, just beginning the process of online education, whether in online, stay-at-home businesses or in some other form of Internet commerce, the real opportunity for service and for success rests with the novice, the “newbie,” and not in restating the same message to the same followers in the same way, day in and day out, online, whether through social media or whatever!

It is nice to be back with a fresh set of eyes and a new perspective. Often, the best way to understand something is to step away long enough, and in this case, far enough to be able to see the forest for the trees.

John

Professor John P. J. Zajaros, Sr.
216-712-6526
216-539-7412
Skype: johnzajaros1
johnz@johnzajaros.com

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• 

What Would You Do if Your Mom or Dad Could See You Now?

When I was growing up I would have long talks with my grandfather, almost one a week. I idolized my grandfather and would spend every moment I could at my grandparents’ house, or at my grandfather’s business. I loved to be at either place because it was his in every way, a reflection of the man, and because I could be near him. To this day I have a picture of my grandfather, along with his friend Father Martin the founder of Boy’s town, on my wall in my office.

What used to be so cool was every once in a while Gramps would be in a really good mood, having had a particularly great day I suppose, so he would take me to Carl’s Chop House in Detroit, Michigan. Carl’s was an awesome place for a little kid because it had the most amazing lobster tank. I would stand there until instructed to take my seat and ponder the fate of the lobsters…some bigger than I was! Or so it seemed. Memories of Carl’s are good ones, family dinners and Christmas parties!

Occasionally, after work and being in a talkative mood, which something quite unusual for him, my grandfather would teach me something about life.

Of course I was in total hero worship mode, I still am. You see, I loved and respected that giant of a man. I always looked forward to the talks and treasured each and every thought he’d share. Listening intently to this man, a god of sorts, a person everyone in the place seemed to know, I remember every word of every talk over so many years; and, so many years ago.

Interestingly, I still remember one talk in particular almost like it was yesterday. I had just earned my first pay check for a full week of back breaking work.

It was the summer of 1965 and even for an 11 year old kid who just wanted to play with his buddies, it was an amazing time. The amount of the check didn’t matter, it was the experience. I still have the picture of my grandfather handing me that check, $50…all the money in the world in 1965.

After the lobster tank, the check, and an amazing dinner, my grandfather lit up a big cigar. Carl’s was that kind of place. He leaned back in his leather-tufted chair, shifted a bit, and I knew we were in for a long one!

My grandfather looked at me and said,

“I am going to ask you just one question; and, I don’t want an answer until tomorrow. I want you to think about your response and I want you to tell me why the question I’m going to ask you is so important, perhaps the most important question I will ever ask you, OK?”

Not answer him? What did he mean, why was this question going to be so important?

I shook my head, of course. You always shook your head and agreed with Gramps…that’s just the way it was.

He smiled, nodded, and took in a deep breath. Then, he asked me the following question:

“Over the past week, while working for me, and over the past month, while you have been staying with your grandmother and I; again, there is just one question I want you to answer, but not until you have had plenty of time to consider the question and your answer fully:

“What would your mother and father think of you and your behavior, your actions and the thoughts behind those actions, if they could see everything?

“In other words, would your mother and father be proud of you, of your thoughts and deeds over the past week, over the last month, if they were watching you the whole time and you didn’t know they were there?”

Wow, I was dumbfounded! What a question!

I started to open my mouth and he held up his hand in order to shush me, he simply shook his head and I understood.

“Tomorrow,” I said.

He nodded.

Well, I thought about that question all night. I thought about all the times I didn’t think anyone was watching and I thought about my thoughts at cetain points over the last 30 days.

Then I had a horrible thought:

Did he know something he wasn’t telling me? Did he have someone watching me? Did he overhear me when I thought I was alone? Was I talking in my sleep? Did he hear me back in the parts department when I thought no one was listening? Did he….

No, of course not!

Then it hit me, the answer to his question.

Yes! I would be ashamed of myself! I certainly would not want my parents to have been a “fly on the wall” or a “little bird,” as my grandmother used to say, over the last 30 days.

No way, now how!

I got it!

Well, later that day my grandfather called me into his office and I went, tail between my legs and head bowed.

Things got real quiet, he didn’t say a word.

Finally, I looked up and he was smiling and nodding.

I smiled back…he knew, I thought!

Then, he spoke. “Do you understand what I asked?”

I nodded.

He then asked me the ultimate question. “Do you understand?”

I nodded and said, “Yes, I do…and I’m sorry!”

He smiled, nodded, and said,

“Never forget how it felt at the precise moment when you realized what I was asking and how you were going to have to answer it!”

Then it was my turn to smile and nod.

I never wanted to feel like that again, like there would be a time when my parents would be ashamed of me and my thoughts, words and/or deeds. From that moment until today, I always ask myself this question:

If the people I love the most knew what I was thinking, if they had a window into my soul, would they be proud or sickened? If I can’t answer yes to the former and no to the latter it is time for a change or, at the very least, and agonizing reappraisal.

Interestingly, we all have our moments and we all have our regrets. However, if we wish to be proud of ourselves, and have those important to us be proud of us too, it pays to remember the question and apply it in our daily lives.

Do I still have my moments?

We all do!

But they are fewer and farther in between, in part because I have grown up but also because of that larger than life character and a talk near the lobster tank in the summer of 1965.

Here’s that question in today’s terms, in terms an adult can understand:

If someone followed you around all day with a video camera, what would they see? And, more importantly, what would you see about your Self, your real and true Self?

How about commenting on this? Let me know about your little bird moments and/or talks with your grandparents!

Thanks!

John

Professor John P. J. Zajaros, Sr.
216-712-6526 (home)
216-539-7412 (office)
Skype: johnzajaros1
johnz@johnzajaros.com

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PPS, For more stories and a look into another side of John Zajaros, go to The Internet Marketing Quest Revealed and let me know what you think!

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