Success is About Helping the Other Person Get There! 

A new client wrote:

Jack-ok-you’re stuck with me. LET’S DO THIS!!!!

I kind of look at this not just as an Internet thing but you are almost a life/business coach as well.

Your experiences as a business owner are invaluable.

I’m Extremely excited to get this moving.

You da man!!

I wrote back:

No! You da man!

I’m glad to have you as a client, a mentee, and a friend! This will be fun for both of us!

Let’s meet tomorrow or Saturday. I’m proud of you (name here). I know it was a tough decision….

This email exchange made everything worth it:

• The sacrifices
• The late nights with no sleep
• The hours invested in developing relationships via social media
• Watching StomperNet videos until I couldn’t watch another
• Reading book upon ebook
• Immersing myself in articles, blog posts, and ecourses
• Overcoming the self-doubt we all face. Yup! We all have it…it’s how we work through it that defines us
• And all the hard work….

Once again, I am the luckiest man alive. Not only because of my business successes but because I have the support of an amazing family and the privilege to work with exactly who I choose to work with…and when! Can anyone think of a better way to spend your working life?

And to think I almost lost my life to illness!

Have a wonderful life. Because it is indeed a wonderful life!

John Zajaros

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• 

Or…The Linchpin Trilogy!

Heaven By Way of a Map – Part I

How’s that for a title?!

I thought over the next week or so I would write a couple of articles, and maybe throw in a couple of videos about what is is really like to come back from The Dark Side…the side of life so many are running away from every day. Running with a part of themselves still anchored in that old mindset and that old life.

Those are difficult shackles to break and the scars of the chains will perhaps remain forever.

Will they last for the remainder of my life? It is hard to say!

Most of us were raised with a certain mindset, some of it a carryover from The Great Depression thinking of our grandparents and great grandparents.

And some of it, a consequence of the old school Horatio Alger Rags to Riches mythology so many bought into with no real map for how to do anything more than grow up, go to college, get a job, get married, have 2 or 3 or 4 kids (I have a funny story for later on about that), place money in a retirement account, watch it grow (slowly), work for the same company for our entire adult lives, wait for retirement, play with our grandkids, perhaps travel a bit (on less than we struggled to live on for the last 50 years – I don’t think so), and die!

Scary…but true!

So, I thought I would share a bit of how I unshackled and my thoughts about the experience over the next few days.

Will it have to do with entrepreneurship?

A little.

Will is have to do with inbound marketing?

Only in that it is my life raft, my way out.

But more than that, it is a signal of a shift in the fundamental mindset of millions of people who are saying in one way or another:

I am mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more!

So, on with the show!

This is an opening act. Throughout this week I will share a bit of the old thinking and some of the new; and, what it took to get here.

If it helps one person break free, or even consider breaking free, it will have been a success!

Let me know what you think!

Share your thoughts and comments below…not only for me but for everyone who stops here from time to time.

Thanks!

I slept in this morning…until noon! The old Me, still firmly entrenched after 55 years, generated more than a twinge of guilt! Old habits (and “Mes”) die hard!

The new me is sitting here in my gym shorts and a cut off t-shirt…happily typing away!

Connie is at work, she works because with my medical history no one else will insure us and, with our medical system, if we don’t have insurance and I get sick again…well, you know the rest.

Not surprisingly, TuffGuy and Bart could care less what I have on. Nor does my keyboard give a half a hoot!

But I can still hear one of my first employer saying:

“Selling is like shaving! If you don’t do it every day you’re a bum!”

Talk about a mindset sticking around!

35 years later and I can still hear his words!

Norm was a nice man who had a lot of sayings like that. He took me under his wing and allowed me to spread my wings as a salesman when no one was hiring anyone for a sales position without experience.

At that time, I was focused on one thing…making it big!

A good sales job was one of the quickest routes to “The Good Life.“

And at the time I was all for that!

Funny how we get for what we ask for and it comes back to bite us in the “butt.”

We spend years of our lives, ransoming out bits and pieces of our Selves.

And for what?

Security?

Security is an illusion!

The only security any of us have is between our ears!

The only value we offer is in what we do, how we do it, and the difficulty someone or some entity (i.e., company) has in replacing us.

In other words, Seth Godin’s words, becoming a Linchpin.

This idea isn’t new…but it certainly seems to be generating a lot of excitement.

You see, doing something extraordinary is so rare, and to many so inconceivable, that is the surest way to true “security,” whatever that means; and, if that’s what you’re after.

But it takes creating your own vision, you own map, and then having the courage to strike out on what can be an amazing journey of discovery.

But you need your own map and you need to “ship!”

In other words, you need to act…and act with a plan!

The problem has always been that we are either working from someone else’s map, a map going nowhere, or no map at all.

Sadly, the latter is usually the case.

Striking out on your own journey is frightening, nerve wracking, and wonderful.

You may feel free for the first time in your life.

Truly free!

At the very least, you will be a lot happier.

And maybe, you’ll even get to spend Mondays doing exactly what you want for as long as you want in whatever garb strikes your fancy!

Nice thought, huh?!

So, today is day one, every day is day one, and I slept in this morning…until noon!

I will write all day today, as I am at this moment, I hope it makes a difference in someone’s life…it is certainly making a difference in mine.

Make your own map. Set a course and then set out on your own journey.

And here’s the key, no matter how powerful the Old Me is, he or she will weaken!

Just never look back and never deviate from your plan!

Course corrections?

To be sure!

But focus on your map and have an amazing journey!

Life is too short to waste it following someone else’s map…live your own life!

Please share your thoughts, ideas…your story!

Thank you for taking a bit of time to read my thoughts.

You are appreciated!

John Zajaros
The Ultimate Internet Image
Lakewood, Ohio
216-712-7004

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• 

I looked at Connie’s Garden this morning and was saddened by the fact that we are coming to the end of another season.

We live in Lakewood, Ohio. Lakewood is a mixed community, a small city actually. Lakewood has all the diversity and charm you could ask for and I have come to like it very much. We were forced here by circumstances beyond our control a few years back. I was deathly ill and fighting for each and every day. I was in the hospital two weeks out of every month for almost four years, had multiple surgeries, and was in pretty bad shape. I thought my life was over.

I often tell people the choice of residence when we moved here was really a simple one: It was a choice between a 1992 Chevrolet Cavalier Station Wagon and our present home.

I am not exaggerating!

We’d come to the end of our rope and, quite literally had nowhere else to go.

So, we moved to Lakewood and into the house we now call a home.

Let me make one thing perfectly clear, (Oh my gosh! Did I just sound like Richard Nixon?) I hate to move. Even when it has been to move up and into better circumstances and surroundings…I hate to move!

Consequently, we have remained here much longer than many would have.

In one way, this house is a daily reminder of how far back we have come. It is also a constant reminder of how hard, capricious, and unforgiving life can be. It is a mixed message…and a mixed blessing. I am certain we will move on, and up, again. But for now we make the best of what we have…and what we have together.

Many spouses would have left long ago!

But Connie is different, she is wonderfully loyal and fiercely protective of her family and the life she has. I guess that includes me.

Why would she have left?

Because, for a while there, it just got too hard, being in my orbit. And, because almost everyone else did.

It’s a funny thing about serious (i.e., life-threatening) illness and the challenges that come with it, people just don’t know how to react.

For a while, people will do almost anything they can to help. They pitch in with the kids, drop off meals, make calls on your behalf, and stop by to visit. However, after a while, when it is clear the road is longer and much more complicated than they originally thought, they begin to distance themselves.

Why?

I guess it just gets too hard. People expect a happy ending, they expect you to get better, for everything to be alright. So, when it takes longer…they just can’t handle it and begin to fade away. It is normal, it is understandable, and it is very, very sad.

By the time we came here, to Lakewood, everyone had faded away and we were utterly alone.

I remember when we moved in here…

…Connie cried.

I told her it would be OK but I knew she was devastated.

For a while, things actually got worse and I moved ever closer to the end of the line.

But life is funny and once in a while you get a break. Or, you make one for yourself? Sometimes, it’s a combination. I think mine was a bit of luck and a bit of being sick and tired of being sick and tired.

In any event, I started to improve. I was still in and out of the hospital, a lot. But I was making a turn for the better. It looked like I was going to make it.

It was then that Connie bought her first flower pot.

As I started to show signs of life, it was almost as if Connie began to show signs of life, as well.

The flower pots were, at first, a big investment as we were still struggling financially. Crushing medical bills and the wreckage of a life-saved were becoming a real issue…

…but she bought more flowers.

Then, something amazing happened.

At about the time I had reached a turning point, a single, seemingly trivial act of kindness from a total stranger (Tony Robbins*) gave me just enough courage, hope, and faith to fight.

I did…fight, that is.

And the rest is reflected in Connie’s Garden.

Last summer Connie planted her first flower garden in years. It was a sad little thing but it represented hope and love and all that is good in life…and in my wife. And, I think, it reflected her love for me. I smiled whenever I looked at that garden because, while appearing so sad to anyone else who might have stumbled upon it, it was magnificent to me.

This year, Connie’s Garden is full of flowers, still small and still a bit sad looking, sad looking to anyone who doesn’t really understand Connie, our family, and what we have endured.

This year, the Connie’s Garden is a triumph!

So, when I looked at Connie’s Garden today and noticed that the flowers hadn’t bounced back quiet as quickly from yesterday’s heat and last night’s rain, it saddened me a bit.

It also reminded me of how far we have come and how everything in life cycles.

We all have good days and bad, good experiences and bad, times when everything we touch turns to gold and other times when every challenge we face seems to go against us. It isn’t that life is against us. It is simply part of a grand design, a process of birth, struggle, renewal, and constant growth.

I see that now. It has taken me 55 years but it is a clear as any lesson I have ever learned.

Would I have made it without Connie?

I doubt it!

Will Connie continue to plant flowers and make my life, our lives, beautiful…bet on it!

Ultimately, life is about faith and hope and family and love…unconditional love.

All the things in Connie’s Garden!

You see, we are all Connie’s Garden, our entire family, and, by extension, anyone in our orbit.

The wonderful thing about all of this?

Connie will continue to tend to us, nurture us, and love us.

Why?

Because there are some people who, no matter what the challenge, no matter how hard the ordeal, and no matter how much pain…

…will always plant flowers.

I am…the luckiest man on Earth…because I am part of Connie’s Garden!

Thank you for allowing me to share this with you; to share a bit of something very personal, and special…my love for a very special woman, my life.

Connie!

John Zajaros

* You can see the post I am referring to and Tony Robbins’ comment here. There is also a video follow up if for some reason you are curious.

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• 

Life Lessons: The Ultimate Question?
How do you want to live and define your life?

Throughout our lives we are faced with many decisions, some of them are very difficult and present themselves at crucial points along the way. Many of the decisions we are faced with will ultimately shape and define the course of our lives; and, the become life lessons!

These choices, when they present themselves, are almost never easy and usually have to do with a price that must be paid, at times a high price, in order to achieve a certain goal or result. In most cases, the result or goal we are seeking is something we must trade for, something we will receive in return for something we must give of ourselves….and others, directly or indirectly.

In other words, in order to achieve the goal or goals we view to be so important, we may have to pay a heavy price.

Interestingly, the decisions we must make and the commitments we are required to make along with them, for goals we are (or were) actively pursuing, goals we had determined to be essential to our overall success in life, may not be the same decisions and/or commitments we would make in retrospect, with the added 20/20 perspective only hindsight can provide.

Not only do many of the goals seem unimportant once we achieve them, we may also question the decision making that went into such a quest to begin with.

Once again, many of these goals come at a significant cost, not only to ourselves, but also to those we love and care for.

I am often reminded of the saying:

Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it!

This is so true!

Significantly, many of the career and life goals we set out to achieve early in our careers, the goals we set for ourselves and for our family, come at too high a price.

In many instances, when faced with the ultimate question:

Success at what price?

Many would be unwilling to pay the price if they knew then what they only come to know much later.

Goals and Material Things

This is particularly true when the goals in life are linked to material goods or “things.” Many of the “things” we attach so much significance to when we are young just do not appear to have the same value later in life. Many of the material “things” are generally not worth the price that must be paid by ourselves and those we love to attain, achieve, and/or acquire them.

This realization is generally viewed from a perspective of time and proximity!

In other words, the closer we get to whatever it is we once believed to crucial to our success, the achievement of a goal that will in some way define us and transform our lives, and those of our loved ones, the more likely we are to see it in an entirely different light.

Additionally, the more severe the cost, particularly in terms of the human cost, trading our time (our absence) for an object or a gratifying moment, the less apt we would be to pay for it had we to do it over again.

Think for a moment about that before getting defensive and saying “You are just being negative!”

Do you know what Sam Walton’s last 3 words were?

One of the most “successful” men on the planet and the founder of Wal-Mart said this:

“I blew it!”

Thanks to my friend Marc Warnke, author of Family First Entrepreneurship (awesome book about time, proximity, and family!) for that video!

What we have invested in, usually our blood, sweat, tears, and time may no longer seem important…or even appropriate given time and proximity.

Perhaps an example will help!

In 1984 I got a job with an advertising and marketing company and immediately went to a solid 6 figure income. I had just walked away from a business I founded and still owned part of because I had become the Dunkin Donuts guy! Remember him? Talk about a memorable USP (unique selling proposition)!

“I made the donuts!”

Well, I was that guy. I was working 16 to 18 hours a day 6 days a week and then doing paperwork for several hours on Sunday…just to catch up. Only to begin again on Monday. What had once been my baby and the most important thing in my life had turned into something akin to the entrepreneurial version of the Bataan Death March, in both physical and psychological terms!

The havoc that schedule was wreaking on my health after three years was noticeable and the effect and impact on my mental outlook was nothing short of disastrous. I was beginning a new life, my son was still young, and I didn’t want the rest of my life to be an everyday death march, passing myself coming and going 365 days a year.

So I got out!

Not right away, mind you..but I knew something had to change. It took getting sick, mononucleosis as a matter of fact.  Mono seemed particularly appropriate for some reason because I owned a health club and trained athletes. But what mono really did for me was it allowed me to step away from the trees long enough to see the forest. Once I did, the decision was easy. I was killing myself bit by bit but was so invested in the “ownership” of the concept the business was built up0on I lost sight of the fact that the business no longer looked anything like the one I started 4 years earlier.

And, I had indeed become The Dunkin Donuts Guy!

The decision was made easier when a friend, Dave M, walked into my office and put his paycheck on the table. He knew I was one of those people you call a “born salesman,” even though I hate conventional sales tactics, and particularly script selling. Dave also knew I was thinking about moving on to a new venture….but what?

Well, Dave looked me in the eye and asked me how long I was going to continue to kill myself when he knew for a fact that I could make at least as much as he had put in front of me, week in and week out and not work half as hard. The paycheck, for a 4 and 1/2 day workweek was in the mid-4 figures.

Now, when I started my business we were bringing in between $20,000 and $30,000 a month, during the late 70s and early 80s recession, but that was channeled right back into the business and I rarely took a dime. As time went on, although the business was doing well, I never bothered to take a paycheck because the business was mine, until I started taking on partners (big mistake and the topic for another post), and I really didn’t need the money.

Nice, huh?

But I was intrigued with Dave’s offer!

I said I would think about it, talked to Connie about the traveling involved in a advertising and marketing gig and the stress of a marketing job like that, and decided to go ahead with it.

That 6 figure position came complete with a road map to the good life. I had a new direction to my life, a direction based on a decision made at a time when I wasn’t really thinking clearly. But the decision seemed to be a good one. I was on my way, set new goals, and even said “I do!”

New job, new life, new wife, new home in my home town of Bay Village…what more could one ask for?

My attorney notified me after two months with the firm that I was officially making enough money to put me in the top 5% of all wage earners in the country!

All seemed right with the world!

“Then Depression Set In! Bill Murray in Stripes

I’ll never forget that line!

Unfortunately, I hadn’t taken into account how taxing the travel would be, 3 weeks out of every month on the road, home for the weekend only to go back on the road Sunday night or early Monday morning. Yes, Connie traveled with me from time to time but it was distracting and I felt guilty leaving her for extended periods at the hotel. Here we were, newlyweds and I was leaving 3 of every 4 weeks in the month. And I wasn’t traveling to postcard destinations!

I was going to Buffalo, Detroit, Cincinnati, Columbus, Pittsburgh, and, heaven help me, Ashtabula and Chillicothe, Ohio. Yes, the money was super and we were put up in Las Vegas on the company for as few days and I was routinely in the top 5 in the country…but the traveling was a downer.

I also hadn’t realized how much I would hate the prospecting part of the business, it had been presented quite differently! I was often making cold calls for 3-5 hours a day, Tuesday through Thursday, in order to set up my afternoon sales appointments and presentations. I got to the point where I could not pick up the telephone without getting physically ill and would be in a bad mood all day Sunday, knowing I had to go back on the road Sunday night or Monday.

Talk about hating the phone and cold calling! Something I still haven’t overcome!

I was the Dunkin Donuts guy again!

I finally came to the realization, just as I had with my own business, that regardless of the money and the commitment, I had to quit!

This was way before Seth Godin’s popularity but we would have been on the same page:

This wasn’t a Dip, this was a cliff! And, there was nothing else to do but QUIT!

The stress of being in a Type A environment and being a Type A personality, I was doomed to repeat this sort of scenario over and over again. I was selling myself to the highest bidder for a paycheck.

I needed something else…something more…or the cycle would repeat itself over and over again for the rest of my life!

The cost of pursuing that lifestyle came at a such a high price to myself and family, both in terms of time away from the family but also in terms of the high stress carryover into our family’s day-to-day affairs, it just wasn’t worth it.

Our loved ones suffer, often silently, as they watch us burn the candle at both ends, as well as in the middle, just to provide more material “things.”

Something had to change!

You know, most families would rather have us home and happy versus killing ourselves for a few bucks more in a paycheck…and a house with too many bedrooms.

Time, Proximity, and Do-Overs

Sadly, time and proximity are tough to buck!

Unless you buy into the whole Back to the Future thing and have access to a Flux Capacitor and an old DeLorean, hindsight is pretty much going to remain hindsight.

I have talked about do-overs here before and I was granted a do-over. New family, new educational opportunities, a new lease on life, literally. I got my do-over and so far have not squandered it…so far. Funny thing about time, it does things to you memory and may even alter perspective, it is a trap.

The old saying:

Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it!

I will not forget the lessons of my past. The things I thought were so crucial? The goals and the things I believed important? The things that would define my success and provide the lifestyle I had envisioned for my family?

I was wrong!

I hope you are able to benefit from my hindsight. “Choose wisely Grasshopper!” Many of the goals we set for ourselves are based on what someone else pushed into our heads from early on in our lives and the things we think precious? They are right in front of you when you sit at the dinner table. They are next to you when you say good night. They are on the other end of the telephone saying “I love you Dad!” when they are away from home.

The most important things in life, the life lessons?

It’s the intangibles!

The rest is scrap! The rest is replaceable, breaks, rusts, burns down, gets stolen, is devalued or is otherwise impermanent.

We come into this world naked and we are going out the same way. The only thing permanent you will have with you as you face your maker, and Sam Walton found this out too late (I wonder how much he would have paid for a do-over? My bet? Anything! )  is the love of those you have touched…that is your immortality!

Your ultimate success will be defined in terms of how others remember you. Your ultimate success will be viewed in terms of the TIME you spent with those you love and who love you! Your success will be recognized in terms of the PROXIMITY you allowed others to have to you!

Time and Proximity

Unfortunately, as most of your moms have probably said about you, and mine said about me, we seem to have to learn things for ourselves…the hard way! I hope not!

Do you want to be able to say:

I got it right…I nailed it! My life had value and meaning!

Or will you say what so many others have said before you:

I blew it!

Thanks for taking the time to get through this. I know it took some time and I hope you feel it was well invested. If so, please pass this along, comment, provide feedback…including your own anecdotes!

Thanks!

John Zajaros
The Ultimate Internet Image
Lakewood, Ohio 44107
216-712-7004 (office)
440-821-7018 (cell)
Skype: johnzajaros1
excellencepaidforward@gmail.com (personal email address)

PS, Join me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn!

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• 

The Groundhog Day Lesson: A Lesson for Business Success…Life Success!

I love the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched it over the years. Bill Murray is something of an enigma, sometimes absolutely brilliant and other times he is just plain awful…or the parts he plays are anyway. Perhaps he tries to stretch himself, do the unconventional, accept the risky, non traditional roles in order to pursue his craft, his art. For whatever reason, he can absolutely leave me in stitches or make me want to bolt for the door.

However, because he has the ability to captivate and entertain, I take a chance with his movies time and again. Groundhog Day and What About Bob? are two of his bests!

Another Murray role, The Razor’s Edge, is a bit gritty but tells a tale, a 1984 Hollywood remake of a 1946 Tyrone Power film of the 1944 bestseller by W. Somerset Maugham, of a disenchanted and disillusioned WWI veteran seeking to find himself in India after The Great War. Murray pulls off the part of Larry Darrell in a way that touches the heart and reminds us that Vietnam veterans were not the only ones affected by what is now called PTSD, that there was in fact an entire generation that was lost: The Lost Generation.

Indeed, nothing is new!

What does any of this have to do with the title of this article? What does Bill Murray’s selection of movie roles, and in particular his performance in the movie Groundhog Day, have to do with marketing and brick and mortar business success?

It’s really pretty obvious if you stop and think about it; and, if you have seen the movie. The movie is about living the same day over and over again until you get it right. But more that that, it is about mindset and the realization that each day can be a learning experience, one that will ultimately get you to your goal…regardless of how elusive that goal may initially seem to be.

The magic of the story is in the progression of Bill Murray‘s character, Phil Connors, a Pittsburg weatherman trapped day after day in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. At first, Connors (Murray) does the same thing over and over again, doomed to repeat the same mundane exercises day in and day out, always on Groundhog Day.

Phil, yes, the same name as the Groundhog, eventually tires of the experience and attempts to put an end to the torture by, among other things, driving off a cliff, along with Punxsutawney Phil himself (the groundhog) seated at the steering wheel with him. And yes, only to awaken again the next morning to the same some on the clock radio, the same music blaring I Got You Babe by Sonny and Cher, and the same cornball radio announcer reading the same corny script!

Same radio announcer, same morning routine, same Phil. Day in, day out, misery every step of the way!

After days of repetition, boredom, and failing in every attempt to end it all, realizing that he was never going to escape, a light bulb goes off and Phil Connors hatches a plan.

In Hollywood it’s always about “the girl!” But in life it could be anything…but it is still, usually, about “the girl!”

So, falling for his producer, the beautiful Rita played by the indeed stunning Andie MacDowell, Murray has incentive to change, to rethink his life and, in setting his sights on Rita, Connors has a goal, a reason to live…and to learn!

This is a key component of the story line, and this is Hollywood, so everything revolves around this infatuation, an infatuation that ultimately leads to much more.

But you have to see the movie for that!

Anyway, Connors sees an opening and begins to treat every new day as a learning experience, a learning experience that will ultimately lead to a relationship with the object of his desire, Rita!

Instead of simply going through each and every day as he had the one before, dreading the routine he had been sentenced to, Murray’s character begins to study, learn, and finally…grow!

OK! I have said enough about Groundhog Day. But I hope you can see where I am going with this?

As business owners this lesson is particularly applicable. For that matter, the lesson applies to anyone who wakes up day after day to the same old, same old. You see, we go through the same routine, we apply the same strategies, and we hope for the same outcome, day in and day out.

Every day the alarm clock goes off at the same time, we get up to the same radio station, we drink the same coffee, we run the same distance or do the same workout (maybe!), drive the same car, open the same door to the same business at the same time, and we apply the same strategies to our running of the business in the same way with the same effect…day in and day out!

…because it is what we know…because it is safe!

Not only is this tragic, it is a waste of life!

It is a death sentence!

Personally, spiritually, financially, and emotionally…you are walking around day after day and it is always….

GROUNDHOG’S DAY!

It doesn’t have to be that way!

In the movie, Phil Connors discovers, after being repeatedly brutalized by the mundane, stagnant life he has come to accept as his ultimate reality, that each day is another opportunity to do it better, to get it right, and to grow in the process.

Triumph!

Phil Connors begins to live each day, building upon the one before, a progression towards a goal. Yes, Rita in the movie…
…but we all have our own “Rita,” don’t we?

How sad it is, how unfortunate that, as stated above, most of us get up in the morning, go through our morning rituals, get to work, go through another set of rituals, and before we know it is time to go home, another ritual.

We get home, go through another set of routines, part of which is usually telling whoever asks that nothing much happened, just another day at the office, and then we retire, another ritual….only to do it again…tomorrow…

Groundhog Day!

Over and over again! Nothing new, nothing learned, just repetition and a sick feeling that our lives are not our own, that they are certainly not what we had envisioned so very long ago.

We do the same things hoping that it will be enough and by the time the light bulb does go off…it is often too late! No time for a do-over, no time for anything new because we didn’t snap out of it in time.

Twilight Zone?

“Picture this, a life, a business, a person going nowhere. See the man on an endless treadmill, one he does not see, cannot see, will not see…until it is too late.

“And then?

“Well, then it is over…until tomorrow…when he will once again mount the treadmill and once again……Groundhog Day……”

It is NOT too late! There is indeed time!

We all get do-overs throughout our lives…we just have to be smart enough to recognize them as opportunities for growth, opportunities to learn, to something greater than our present selves!

Life is not a death sentence, the same old, same old!

Groundhog Day can mean the beginning of a new day, a day to learn, to grow, to become something more!

It is up to you!

John

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• 

Daughters and Granddaughters: God's Gift to Fathers and Grandfathers!

In Your Eyes! Unconditional Love and Grandchildren

The greatest heartbreak in life is watching your children and grandchildren struggle, regardless of their age! We still see them as little boys full of dreams and wonder and little girls with ponytails flying behind them as the chase puppies, butterflies, and later soccer balls and boys!

“Ugh, boys!”

I remember that one…they all said it!

Our children give so much, more than we ever give them. Their love is unconditional, which makes stepping back and allowing them to grow on their own all the more difficult!

We want to shelter them, protect them, and love them.

Unfortunately, in protecting them we may not be helping them.

As parents and even as grandparents we are torn. Love sometimes means pushing them out of the nest. Other times it means allowing them to fall towards the earth until they learn to flap their wings…all the time dreading the thought that perhaps they won’t flap hard enough or in time!

Life, parenting, and even grandparenting can be very difficult…and quite wonderful!

Life is amazing!

John

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Randy Pausch Taught Us All a Lesson About Life, Love, and the Real Meaning of Success

As we plod through our lives, wondering about and debating its meaning, just how we fit into the grand scheme of things, there remains forever embedded in the minds of millions the image of Randy Pausch giving the world a gift…The Last Lecture.

This is not a post about the meaning of Professor Pausch’s selflessly magnificent gift, it is simply a nod from one professor to another, one teacher who loved touching the lives of a few with his self and his message.

It has been a little more than a year and a half since the passing of this great man and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of the message he left behind. Randy Pausch exited doing what he loved, sharing his knowledge with the world, his magnificent gift…The Last Lecture.

Ultimately, I believe a large measure of our immortality is based upon the impact we have had on those left behind, on how those we’ve touched remember us as they continue through life. If our immortality is measured by how people remember us, and for how long, Professor Pausch’s immortality is assured.

In marketing terms, we are remembered in terms of positioning and our differentiation.

In other words, positioning, how people talk about us when we are no longer around; and, differentiation, how we have separated ourselves from “the herd,” from the rest of the people, businesses, whomever or whatever we are being compared to on a daily basis.

One thing is an absolute certainty, Randy Pausch’s positioning and differentiation certain reflect the profound impact he had on the world he lived in, and the World as a whole; thus, making Professor Pausch one of the greatest men of our time. Randy Pausch’s loss is felt to this day by those who knew him…and by others who wish they had.

How many have made such an impact?

I would argue…not many!

Of all the videos I have watched, four stand out:

1) The Last Lecture

2) The video below

3) The announcement of his death

4) A video compilation that has since been pulled of highlights of Professor Pausch’s Last Lecture and  a song by Eric Hutchinson. I have squirreled it away because it is has been pulled back by “the powers that be” and I have refused to take a chance of losing it…until now. It inspires me often, I hope in sharing it that it will inspire you!

The videos speak for themselves, enjoy a celebration of life and a demonstration of the true meaning of life, love, and success…Professor Randy Pausch.

Professor John P. J. Zajaros, Sr.
216-712-6526 (home)
440-821-7018 (cell)
excellencepaidforward@gmail.com (personal email)

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Happy Holidays from My Family to Yours: Treasure the Moments – They are Gone in a Instant!

There are moments in everyone’s life, particularly when raising children, moments that last a lifetime. Whether it is a moment like this or the moment Marc Warnke refers to with his son, Jaken, climbing a rock in his wonderful book ONO: Options not Obligations or myriad others parents carry with them through life, the moments remain treasures, the gems that keep us going…all of us!

This was one of those moments, a blink and it was gone, and yet here it is, my daughter’s Facebook profile picture. The magic I felt so long ago and feel to this day is magic shared. The profound affect and impact the moment had on me was shared by 4 that day…a jewel throughout our collective lives!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Kwanzaa!

Celebrate life in each and every moment, because it is the moments taken collectively that define us and remain our legacy, as evidenced by a profile picture taken 17 years ago, a moment that remained in a 6 year old’s heart all these years!

John

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Pay it Forward this Holiday Season: Help a Family in Need Today!

Every year for years for years we would get the name of a family in peril, a family who sought help from the system just a bit too late…and the system had nothing for them.

We always sought out families who contacted United Way or the Salvation Army but were unable to be helped because they were too late and the cupboards were bare, so we would step in.

And then we became one of those families, at risk of homelessness, and worse. It was terrible!

The empathy and compassion I feel is real and you can experience it too, it will rip your heart out and reward you all in the same moment!

It is not too late to do the right thing this holiday season, to Pay it Forward, to help a family struggling, with nowhere else to turn!

ACT TODAY!

Call your local church, Salvation Army location or United Way Hotline at once and get the name of a family with children, a family that may not have a Christmas if it were not for your intervention…and help them!

Thank you in advance…for them!

Merry Christmas and God Bless You!

From my family to yours, Happy Holidays!

John

Professor John P. J. Zajaros, Sr.
216-712-6526 (home)
216-539-7412 (bus)
Skype: johnzajaros1
excellencepaidforward@gmail.com
johnz@johnzajaros.com

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I was watching and listening to the HBO Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 25th Anniversary Rock Concert from Madison Square Garden this morning.

Watching the 25th Rock Hall Concert, I still can’t get over the aging rockers refusing to give in to age and, perhaps more inspiring, conventionality. I think the thing that struck me most as I watched was the diversity of talent, every man and woman, each solo artist and group all have their individual style and grace…their own voice.

Bruce and Bono!

As I was watched The Boss and Bono, along with the rest of U2, I was struck by their very different styles. These rock and roll legends, these men whom have done as much for others behind the scenes, in terms of philanthropy, as any two men alive; and there, side by side singing about life, love, and hope.

Interestingly, while engaged in the same profession, and with many of the same qualities, humanity, compassion, and empathy, they are still as far apart stylistically as two entertainers can be.

As I watched, and it was in watching, much more than listening, that their real differences became apparent, I was struck by the fact that these two men, so very successful in the same endeavor, were so different from one another in the same moment.

Bono and The Boss, as different as night and day, yet both creating beautiful music in their own distinct fashion, their own style. These two mythic performers, deities of the rock and roll era, standing side by side and singing in complete harmony were as different in how they deliver their message, their performance, as any two performers can be; and yet, their harmony was incredible.

Both performers clearly belong on the same stage, however different their stylistic expression may be. All you have to do is watch, and then listen, but mainly watch these two performers, so different and yet so much the same to get a real sense of the contrast between them.

So, what is it all about?

It’s about finding your own voice! Both men have found their calling, their love for their work, their love of life, their voice…literally and figuratively.

While watching night and day on the same stage, both creating something beautiful, individually and collectively, something different and yet uniquely the same, I was moved. The collective voice they created was something uniquely theirs in that moment.

Success in Life

Because each of these rockers had given himself permission to express his voice in his own way, they both seem at one with themselves, with their true nature.

One only has to watch The Boss and Bono standing side by side, so very different, and each succeeding in ways unimaginable only a few years ago, to know that all things are possible if you give rise to your own voice, your passion, that one thing we are all put this planet to do.

The one thing!

It is in finding that one thing, and giving yourself permission to explore and express your voice, that true success is achieved.

Success in business and in life is certainly a progression, a journey, but more than that, it is a consequence of finding your voice and allowing it to do what only you can do with it, in very much the same way The Boss and Bono have….

Sing!

John

Professor John P. J. Zajaros, Sr.
216-712-6526 (home)
216-539-7412 (office)
Skype: johnzajaros1
johnz@johnzajaros.com

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