John Zajaros Blog

Or: Persistence, Determination, Honesty, Integrity, and a Bucket of Oysters

Whenever I think about positive mental attitude statements and affirmations, my mind always comes back to Erma Bombeck’s classic title:

If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?

Talk about effective marketing!

Recently, I had the pleasure of listening to Eben Pagan interview Joe Sugarman, one of the greatest copywriters and direct marketers of our era, the founder of BluBlocker Sun Glasses. Joe Sugarman sold millions of BluBlockers and made millions of dollars in the process. The story is an interesting one, one for another day.

In the interview, Eben and Joe discussed many topics, topics related to marketing, success, and life. I recommend it if you can find a copy, it is well worth the time.

Of all the topics discussed, the topic of persistence piqued my interest. Persistence and determination are among of my favorite topics, along with desire, perception, perspective, and assumption…as you well know, particularly if you have visited any of my blogs.

You see, I believe the most crucial ingredient, the characteristic that defines us and determines our success, is persistence.

In my opinion, and in the opinion of many men and women smarter than I, persistence, and its partner determination, are central and recurring themes in almost every success story I have ever listened to, read, witnessed or been a part of…including my own.

Persistence, when combined with determination and honesty, almost always assures one’s success long term.

If integrity and honesty are not part of your makeup, all of your effort will be for naught.

No one can sustain success long term without integrity and honesty!

Getting back to the teleseminar with Joe Sugarman and Eben Pagan, Joe Sugarman made an interesting comparison, one worth sharing:

Life is like a bucket of oysters. In life, we are guaranteed

success if we persist. In the bucket, we know there is at

least one pearl. Opening the oysters is hard work and quite

often we end up cutting our hands, getting discouraged,

and wondering if it is all worth it when we are only half

way through. However, we know there is a pearl in the

bucket…if we just keep digging for it!

That is exactly like life!

The sad thing about it?

Many people end up losing sight of the reward, giving in and giving up as difficulties ensue. I have known so many men and women who, on the very brink of success, have thrown in the towel, unable to continue, unable to complete the task that would surely yield the pearl they had been striving for.

Like shucking oysters in search of a pearl, success in life demands a combination of skills.

The skills, when combined with a certain finesse, and finally brought to fruition through persistence and determination, often yield rewards impossible to imagine as we hover over the bucket, intent upon the task at hand, opening the oysters.

If we get bogged down in the task, complete with the difficulties, forgetting to focus on the pearl, we may not see it through.

Failure along the way is a certainty. Failure, when viewed as a setback, as a learning experience, can be a valuable lesson, another on the way to acquiring the pearl. Persistence in spite of the failure, and even because of it, will take us one step closer to discovery…and success.

Ultimately, if we keep the pearl in focus, remembering to apply both finesse and persistence, remembering that life will yield a pearl the magnificence of which we can’t possibly imagine, we will succeed.

Interestingly, as we progress through life we will find not one pearl but a succession of pearls, life’s reward for persistence, determination, honesty, and integrity…all along the way to an empty bucket and whatever awaits us in the hereafter.

Another, larger bucket…or perhaps a string of pearls?

John

Professor John P. J. Zajaros, Sr.
216-712-6526 (home)
216-539-7412 (office)
Skype: johnzajaros1
johnz@johnzajaros.com
excellencepaidforward@gmail.com (personal email)

PS, If you want to read a little bit about Joe Sugarman’s latest venture, something I immediately got involved with because it promises to help so many of my readers with various health issues and challenges…from pain to energy and illness to aging! It is truly an amazing product and the best I have come across, anywhere! If Joe Sugarman is on board you can be certain it is the very best available or he simply wouldn’t offer it!

Pay it Forward this Holiday Season: Help a Family in Need Today!

Every year for years for years we would get the name of a family in peril, a family who sought help from the system just a bit too late…and the system had nothing for them.

We always sought out families who contacted United Way or the Salvation Army but were unable to be helped because they were too late and the cupboards were bare, so we would step in.

And then we became one of those families, at risk of homelessness, and worse. It was terrible!

The empathy and compassion I feel is real and you can experience it too, it will rip your heart out and reward you all in the same moment!

It is not too late to do the right thing this holiday season, to Pay it Forward, to help a family struggling, with nowhere else to turn!

ACT TODAY!

Call your local church, Salvation Army location or United Way Hotline at once and get the name of a family with children, a family that may not have a Christmas if it were not for your intervention…and help them!

Thank you in advance…for them!

Merry Christmas and God Bless You!

From my family to yours, Happy Holidays!

John

Professor John P. J. Zajaros, Sr.
216-712-6526 (home)
216-539-7412 (bus)
Skype: johnzajaros1
excellencepaidforward@gmail.com
johnz@johnzajaros.com

I was watching and listening to the HBO Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 25th Anniversary Rock Concert from Madison Square Garden this morning.

Watching the 25th Rock Hall Concert, I still can’t get over the aging rockers refusing to give in to age and, perhaps more inspiring, conventionality. I think the thing that struck me most as I watched was the diversity of talent, every man and woman, each solo artist and group all have their individual style and grace…their own voice.

Bruce and Bono!

As I was watched The Boss and Bono, along with the rest of U2, I was struck by their very different styles. These rock and roll legends, these men whom have done as much for others behind the scenes, in terms of philanthropy, as any two men alive; and there, side by side singing about life, love, and hope.

Interestingly, while engaged in the same profession, and with many of the same qualities, humanity, compassion, and empathy, they are still as far apart stylistically as two entertainers can be.

As I watched, and it was in watching, much more than listening, that their real differences became apparent, I was struck by the fact that these two men, so very successful in the same endeavor, were so different from one another in the same moment.

Bono and The Boss, as different as night and day, yet both creating beautiful music in their own distinct fashion, their own style. These two mythic performers, deities of the rock and roll era, standing side by side and singing in complete harmony were as different in how they deliver their message, their performance, as any two performers can be; and yet, their harmony was incredible.

Both performers clearly belong on the same stage, however different their stylistic expression may be. All you have to do is watch, and then listen, but mainly watch these two performers, so different and yet so much the same to get a real sense of the contrast between them.

So, what is it all about?

It’s about finding your own voice! Both men have found their calling, their love for their work, their love of life, their voice…literally and figuratively.

While watching night and day on the same stage, both creating something beautiful, individually and collectively, something different and yet uniquely the same, I was moved. The collective voice they created was something uniquely theirs in that moment.

Success in Life

Because each of these rockers had given himself permission to express his voice in his own way, they both seem at one with themselves, with their true nature.

One only has to watch The Boss and Bono standing side by side, so very different, and each succeeding in ways unimaginable only a few years ago, to know that all things are possible if you give rise to your own voice, your passion, that one thing we are all put this planet to do.

The one thing!

It is in finding that one thing, and giving yourself permission to explore and express your voice, that true success is achieved.

Success in business and in life is certainly a progression, a journey, but more than that, it is a consequence of finding your voice and allowing it to do what only you can do with it, in very much the same way The Boss and Bono have….

Sing!

John

Professor John P. J. Zajaros, Sr.
216-712-6526 (home)
216-539-7412 (office)
Skype: johnzajaros1
johnz@johnzajaros.com

What Would You Do if Your Mom or Dad Could See You Now?

When I was growing up I would have long talks with my grandfather, almost one a week. I idolized my grandfather and would spend every moment I could at my grandparents’ house, or at my grandfather’s business. I loved to be at either place because it was his in every way, a reflection of the man, and because I could be near him. To this day I have a picture of my grandfather, along with his friend Father Martin the founder of Boy’s town, on my wall in my office.

What used to be so cool was every once in a while Gramps would be in a really good mood, having had a particularly great day I suppose, so he would take me to Carl’s Chop House in Detroit, Michigan. Carl’s was an awesome place for a little kid because it had the most amazing lobster tank. I would stand there until instructed to take my seat and ponder the fate of the lobsters…some bigger than I was! Or so it seemed. Memories of Carl’s are good ones, family dinners and Christmas parties!

Occasionally, after work and being in a talkative mood, which something quite unusual for him, my grandfather would teach me something about life.

Of course I was in total hero worship mode, I still am. You see, I loved and respected that giant of a man. I always looked forward to the talks and treasured each and every thought he’d share. Listening intently to this man, a god of sorts, a person everyone in the place seemed to know, I remember every word of every talk over so many years; and, so many years ago.

Interestingly, I still remember one talk in particular almost like it was yesterday. I had just earned my first pay check for a full week of back breaking work.

It was the summer of 1965 and even for an 11 year old kid who just wanted to play with his buddies, it was an amazing time. The amount of the check didn’t matter, it was the experience. I still have the picture of my grandfather handing me that check, $50…all the money in the world in 1965.

After the lobster tank, the check, and an amazing dinner, my grandfather lit up a big cigar. Carl’s was that kind of place. He leaned back in his leather-tufted chair, shifted a bit, and I knew we were in for a long one!

My grandfather looked at me and said,

“I am going to ask you just one question; and, I don’t want an answer until tomorrow. I want you to think about your response and I want you to tell me why the question I’m going to ask you is so important, perhaps the most important question I will ever ask you, OK?”

Not answer him? What did he mean, why was this question going to be so important?

I shook my head, of course. You always shook your head and agreed with Gramps…that’s just the way it was.

He smiled, nodded, and took in a deep breath. Then, he asked me the following question:

“Over the past week, while working for me, and over the past month, while you have been staying with your grandmother and I; again, there is just one question I want you to answer, but not until you have had plenty of time to consider the question and your answer fully:

“What would your mother and father think of you and your behavior, your actions and the thoughts behind those actions, if they could see everything?

“In other words, would your mother and father be proud of you, of your thoughts and deeds over the past week, over the last month, if they were watching you the whole time and you didn’t know they were there?”

Wow, I was dumbfounded! What a question!

I started to open my mouth and he held up his hand in order to shush me, he simply shook his head and I understood.

“Tomorrow,” I said.

He nodded.

Well, I thought about that question all night. I thought about all the times I didn’t think anyone was watching and I thought about my thoughts at cetain points over the last 30 days.

Then I had a horrible thought:

Did he know something he wasn’t telling me? Did he have someone watching me? Did he overhear me when I thought I was alone? Was I talking in my sleep? Did he hear me back in the parts department when I thought no one was listening? Did he….

No, of course not!

Then it hit me, the answer to his question.

Yes! I would be ashamed of myself! I certainly would not want my parents to have been a “fly on the wall” or a “little bird,” as my grandmother used to say, over the last 30 days.

No way, now how!

I got it!

Well, later that day my grandfather called me into his office and I went, tail between my legs and head bowed.

Things got real quiet, he didn’t say a word.

Finally, I looked up and he was smiling and nodding.

I smiled back…he knew, I thought!

Then, he spoke. “Do you understand what I asked?”

I nodded.

He then asked me the ultimate question. “Do you understand?”

I nodded and said, “Yes, I do…and I’m sorry!”

He smiled, nodded, and said,

“Never forget how it felt at the precise moment when you realized what I was asking and how you were going to have to answer it!”

Then it was my turn to smile and nod.

I never wanted to feel like that again, like there would be a time when my parents would be ashamed of me and my thoughts, words and/or deeds. From that moment until today, I always ask myself this question:

If the people I love the most knew what I was thinking, if they had a window into my soul, would they be proud or sickened? If I can’t answer yes to the former and no to the latter it is time for a change or, at the very least, and agonizing reappraisal.

Interestingly, we all have our moments and we all have our regrets. However, if we wish to be proud of ourselves, and have those important to us be proud of us too, it pays to remember the question and apply it in our daily lives.

Do I still have my moments?

We all do!

But they are fewer and farther in between, in part because I have grown up but also because of that larger than life character and a talk near the lobster tank in the summer of 1965.

Here’s that question in today’s terms, in terms an adult can understand:

If someone followed you around all day with a video camera, what would they see? And, more importantly, what would you see about your Self, your real and true Self?

How about commenting on this? Let me know about your little bird moments and/or talks with your grandparents!

Thanks!

John

Professor John P. J. Zajaros, Sr.
216-712-6526 (home)
216-539-7412 (office)
Skype: johnzajaros1
johnz@johnzajaros.com

PS, Comment on this, subscribe to the newsletter, and get a link in your confirmation email to an awesome and inspiring ebook by Seth Godin.

PPS, For more stories and a look into another side of John Zajaros, go to The Internet Marketing Quest Revealed and let me know what you think!

The Meaning of Life? Sorry, Take a Number! But A New Perspective Based on What Matters Now and the Do-Over!

I was taking a shower and it hit me! As a kid when things didn’t go just right we would always call for a do-over…the chance to do a retake because the results weren’t as we had planned or as we would like them to be. The do-over is the classic little kid, “I want a second chance” phrase.

Interestingly, we get do-overs all the time, we just don’t recognize them for what they are…do-overs!

Here are some of the do-overs we get and my take on some of them:

Grandkids are the ultimate do-over!

You get to rethink and do-over all of the “if only I had” moments you screwed up oir simply missed with your own kids.

A new job is another wonderful do-over!

Many people view a new job with a sense of apprehension, when in fact it is actually a chance to get things right, to do things differently…to do things over.

Remarriage, while beginning on a negative note for many, although certainly not all, is another wonderful do-over!

Talk about taking a terrible experience and making it better. The ironic part of this particular do-over? We fall into many of the same traps and habits that screwed things up the first time around…thus the divorce (read: failure) rate for this particular do-over is an astounding 70%!

The “surprise” package, the child later in life when we really weren’t expecting to be expecting is an awesome, albeit totally unexpected do-over!

This particular do-over allows you to have the control you don’t have with the grandkids, with the grandkids it is not unusual to have to watch your own kids screw things up from a distance…while remaining quiet about it!

Going back to school is a fantastic do-over!

“Education is wasted on the young” is a corruption or an expansion, a do-over in the grammatical realm, of a quote by the famous, some would argue infamous, Oscar Wilde: “Youth is wasted on the young!”

In either instance, there is more than a little bit of truth to be had in both of these statements. Education the second time around is a wonderful thing and the possibilities are only limited by your imagination…and incredible do-over I have experienced first-hand! It is not surprising that at many colleges and universities, it is the nontraditional student that leads the pack when it comes to GPA and to applied research and experiential education opportunities.

Getting back into shape can be an awesome experience and a wonderful do-over!

We’ve all heard the story about the overweight so-and-so who barely made it out his front door on his first jog only to run the Boston Marathon a year later! Or how about the story of Marva Hooks, the story Tony Robbins mentions in his book Awaken the Giant Within and in the episode of Power Talk, the episode when he also reveals is concept of constant and never ending improvement, CANI! Marva Hooks is a 67 year young lady who at the age of 92 climbed to the top of Mt. Fuji! Talk about a do-over!

I could go on for days, literally, as my life is filled with do-overs…as I am certain yours is, as well!

But what I’d really like to do is turn this over to you. Think about the do-overs in your own life and either link back to this post or comment below, adding experiences of your own for others to take in as they consider and plan their own do-overs!

BTW, if you sign up for my newsletter, using the opt-in box on the side panel, you will get a copy of Seth Godin’s new ebook, “What Matters Now!” It is absolutely free and will put you on the path to a brand new day in a altogether different mindset…the ultimate do-over, a reshaping of the mind!

Have a wonderful day…yet a new and exciting do-over each and every time you wake to begin again the experience of life!

Life!

Many would argue life, in and of itself, is the ultimate do-over…but then we won’t know for sure until we get to the end and perhaps face an altogether different sort of do-over!

Don’t forget Seth Godin’s ebook, it is amazing!

John

Professor John P. J. Zajaros, Sr.
216-712-6526 (home)
216-539-7412 (office)
Skype: johnzajaros1
email: johnz@johnzajaros.com
email: excellencepaidforward@gmail.com (personal, anytime!)