Happy Holidays from My Family to Yours: Treasure the Moments – They are Gone in a Instant!
There are moments in everyone’s life, particularly when raising children, moments that last a lifetime. Whether it is a moment like this or the moment Marc Warnke refers to with his son, Jaken, climbing a rock in his wonderful book ONO: Options not Obligations or myriad others parents carry with them through life, the moments remain treasures, the gems that keep us going…all of us!
This was one of those moments, a blink and it was gone, and yet here it is, my daughter’s Facebook profile picture. The magic I felt so long ago and feel to this day is magic shared. The profound affect and impact the moment had on me was shared by 4 that day…a jewel throughout our collective lives!
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Kwanzaa!
Celebrate life in each and every moment, because it is the moments taken collectively that define us and remain our legacy, as evidenced by a profile picture taken 17 years ago, a moment that remained in a 6 year old’s heart all these years!
Pay it Forward this Holiday Season: Help a Family in Need Today!
Every year for years for years we would get the name of a family in peril, a family who sought help from the system just a bit too late…and the system had nothing for them.
We always sought out families who contacted United Way or the Salvation Army but were unable to be helped because they were too late and the cupboards were bare, so we would step in.
And then we became one of those families, at risk of homelessness, and worse. It was terrible!
The empathy and compassion I feel is real and you can experience it too, it will rip your heart out and reward you all in the same moment!
It is not too late to do the right thing this holiday season, to Pay it Forward, to help a family struggling, with nowhere else to turn!
ACT TODAY!
Call your local church, Salvation Army location or United Way Hotline at once and get the name of a family with children, a family that may not have a Christmas if it were not for your intervention…and help them!
Thank you in advance…for them!
Merry Christmas and God Bless You!
From my family to yours, Happy Holidays!
John
Professor John P. J. Zajaros, Sr.
216-712-6526 (home)
216-539-7412 (bus)
Skype: johnzajaros1
excellencepaidforward@gmail.com
johnz@johnzajaros.com
What Would You Do if Your Mom or Dad Could See You Now?
When I was growing up I would have long talks with my grandfather, almost one a week. I idolized my grandfather and would spend every moment I could at my grandparents’ house, or at my grandfather’s business. I loved to be at either place because it was his in every way, a reflection of the man, and because I could be near him. To this day I have a picture of my grandfather, along with his friend Father Martin the founder of Boy’s town, on my wall in my office.
What used to be so cool was every once in a while Gramps would be in a really good mood, having had a particularly great day I suppose, so he would take me to Carl’s Chop House in Detroit, Michigan. Carl’s was an awesome place for a little kid because it had the most amazing lobster tank. I would stand there until instructed to take my seat and ponder the fate of the lobsters…some bigger than I was! Or so it seemed. Memories of Carl’s are good ones, family dinners and Christmas parties!
Occasionally, after work and being in a talkative mood, which something quite unusual for him, my grandfather would teach me something about life.
Of course I was in total hero worship mode, I still am. You see, I loved and respected that giant of a man. I always looked forward to the talks and treasured each and every thought he’d share. Listening intently to this man, a god of sorts, a person everyone in the place seemed to know, I remember every word of every talk over so many years; and, so many years ago.
Interestingly, I still remember one talk in particular almost like it was yesterday. I had just earned my first pay check for a full week of back breaking work.
It was the summer of 1965 and even for an 11 year old kid who just wanted to play with his buddies, it was an amazing time. The amount of the check didn’t matter, it was the experience. I still have the picture of my grandfather handing me that check, $50…all the money in the world in 1965.
After the lobster tank, the check, and an amazing dinner, my grandfather lit up a big cigar. Carl’s was that kind of place. He leaned back in his leather-tufted chair, shifted a bit, and I knew we were in for a long one!
My grandfather looked at me and said,
“I am going to ask you just one question; and, I don’t want an answer until tomorrow. I want you to think about your response and I want you to tell me why the question I’m going to ask you is so important, perhaps the most important question I will ever ask you, OK?”
Not answer him? What did he mean, why was this question going to be so important?
I shook my head, of course. You always shook your head and agreed with Gramps…that’s just the way it was.
He smiled, nodded, and took in a deep breath. Then, he asked me the following question:
“Over the past week, while working for me, and over the past month, while you have been staying with your grandmother and I; again, there is just one question I want you to answer, but not until you have had plenty of time to consider the question and your answer fully:
“What would your mother and father think of you and your behavior, your actions and the thoughts behind those actions, if they could see everything?
“In other words, would your mother and father be proud of you, of your thoughts and deeds over the past week, over the last month, if they were watching you the whole time and you didn’t know they were there?”
Wow, I was dumbfounded! What a question!
I started to open my mouth and he held up his hand in order to shush me, he simply shook his head and I understood.
“Tomorrow,” I said.
He nodded.
Well, I thought about that question all night. I thought about all the times I didn’t think anyone was watching and I thought about my thoughts at cetain points over the last 30 days.
Then I had a horrible thought:
Did he know something he wasn’t telling me? Did he have someone watching me? Did he overhear me when I thought I was alone? Was I talking in my sleep? Did he hear me back in the parts department when I thought no one was listening? Did he….
No, of course not!
Then it hit me, the answer to his question.
Yes! I would be ashamed of myself! I certainly would not want my parents to have been a “fly on the wall” or a “little bird,” as my grandmother used to say, over the last 30 days.
No way, now how!
I got it!
Well, later that day my grandfather called me into his office and I went, tail between my legs and head bowed.
Things got real quiet, he didn’t say a word.
Finally, I looked up and he was smiling and nodding.
I smiled back…he knew, I thought!
Then, he spoke. “Do you understand what I asked?”
I nodded.
He then asked me the ultimate question. “Do you understand?”
I nodded and said, “Yes, I do…and I’m sorry!”
He smiled, nodded, and said,
“Never forget how it felt at the precise moment when you realized what I was asking and how you were going to have to answer it!”
Then it was my turn to smile and nod.
I never wanted to feel like that again, like there would be a time when my parents would be ashamed of me and my thoughts, words and/or deeds. From that moment until today, I always ask myself this question:
If the people I love the most knew what I was thinking, if they had a window into my soul, would they be proud or sickened? If I can’t answer yes to the former and no to the latter it is time for a change or, at the very least, and agonizing reappraisal.
Interestingly, we all have our moments and we all have our regrets. However, if we wish to be proud of ourselves, and have those important to us be proud of us too, it pays to remember the question and apply it in our daily lives.
Do I still have my moments?
We all do!
But they are fewer and farther in between, in part because I have grown up but also because of that larger than life character and a talk near the lobster tank in the summer of 1965.
Here’s that question in today’s terms, in terms an adult can understand:
If someone followed you around all day with a video camera, what would they see? And, more importantly, what would you see about your Self, your real and true Self?
How about commenting on this? Let me know about your little bird moments and/or talks with your grandparents!
Thanks!
John
Professor John P. J. Zajaros, Sr.
216-712-6526 (home)
216-539-7412 (office)
Skype: johnzajaros1
johnz@johnzajaros.com
PS, Comment on this, subscribe to the newsletter, and get a link in your confirmation email to an awesome and inspiring ebook by Seth Godin.
Kailyn and Grandpa: The Most Precious Moments are the Unanticipated Ones, the Intangible Rewards of a Magical Life!
Once in a while you have to stop everything and take a moment to take in all that truly matters. Grandchildren are the ultimate do-over, they provide you with one last chance to get it right, to not only make your life more meaningful but to touch the lives of all of those around you!
I was fortunate to have quite a few years between my son, now in his middle 30s and my daughters, all in their early 20s. That time span gave me the same sort of do-over mentality with the girls and I am carrying it over with my grandchildren. The opportunity to get it right rarely comes around twice. However, when it does, it is amazing and provides rewards beyond measure.
I just thought you might like to share a moment with me and my oldest granddaughter, Kailyn, as we visit our favorite hangout for strawberry sundaes, tin roofs, pretzels, peanuts, and some conversation!
John
John Zajaros
216-712-6526
216-539-7412
Skype: johnzajaros1
johnz@johnzajaros.com
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TuffGuy just came in to get me! Funny! It's nice enough to take a walk & we've really missed our midnight to 3am walks! Salt hurts his paws! http://twitter.com/JohnZajaros7 hours ago
