Suicide Revealed: In Memory of John P. J. Zajaros, Jr. (4-21-1976 to 7-1-2012)

by John Zajaros on April 16, 2015

The video below was created by one of my son’s friends a few months after his death: His Suicide.

John Patrick Jude Zajaros, Jr., Jack to his friends, Jackie to those who loved him the most, took his own life in the early morning hours of July 1, 2012. He planned his death out carefully and executed himself without witness and without leaving a note behind.

I cannot imagine the desperation and the pain he must have felt, a pain so black that caused him to act in such a way. I can, however, get pretty close; it must have been a terrible, black, lonely place.

The irony is palpable, on so many levels.

And yet he was loved so very much. Did he know? Did it matter? It’s impossible to know.

While the video below is not a slick production, it does seem to capture the pain he must have felt toward the end of his life.

Suicide is at epidemic levels; it is a familial tragedy and a national catastrophe. Until we bring suicide out of the closet and work to understand it, we will continue to lose our friends and loved ones. We are losing the young, the elderly, and those in-between to suicide. Suicide does not discriminate. Suicide is an equal opportunity destroyer. Suicide accepts all who apply, doling out terrible consequences.

We must come to understand suicide by asking the tough questions, by seeking even tougher answers, and then, by applying the lessons learned. If we don’t work to understand suicide, I fear the latest trend will only continue to grow. I know it will grow!

I miss my son each and every day. The pain is like no other. There is no closure. Closure is a myth. Closure does not exist. There is only grief, somewhat abated by time, life, more painful than before but still worth living, and family, the loved ones left behind, family and friends trying in vain to make sense of it all.

There is no sense to be gained, yet still we try.

What else can we do?

If you are contemplating suicide. If you are considering an end to your life. Call me. Call anybody. PLEASE, CALL SOMEONE NOW!

If you are seriously considering an end to your life? Call the NSPH number listed below.

I wish you every good thing in life. But, most of all, I wish you peace!

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1 (800) 273-8255
Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week
Languages: English, Spanish

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